Schizophrenia.com

I don't know if I hurt him

One night before I got clean I was shooting pool and drinking beer in a bar with my friend. We were about 27 or 28 and living in the same semi-independent living house. My friend struck up a conversation with a guy in the bar who was a little older than us. His story was that he was the local carnival that moves around and sets up their carnival in different store parking lots. My friend pulled me over and said, “Hey, this guy says he has no place to shower so I told him for $15.00 he can use our shower.”

I thought it was kind of weird, but hey, I needed drug and beer money so I said sure. So we all went to our house, he showered, than we drove back to the bar and resumed playing pool. Well, we ran out of pitchers of beer so we gave the carny $5.00 to go get a pitcher. And the guy never came back. He cheated us and we were pissed.

So we knew he was living in a trailer in the parking lot so we went to the nearest dumpster and pulled out two empty glass quart bottles and we pulled in on the side of the guys trailer and we chucked out bottles through his glass windows as hard as we could. Then we drove off. But the anger was still festering so we got two more bottles, drove back and this time we got closer and threw them through his window again. It made a lot of noise and we took off and never saw they guy again. I think that’s the only time I hurt someone during my addiction.

that was 10 years ago?.

Well, you didn’t murder the guy or beat him up. You weren’t yourself back then. That was drugs and alcohol, not you.

I was once arrested by seven cops on about a quart of liquor and celexa. That wasn’t me, that was pills and drink and legal insanity.

Think about the good things you have done since then instead.

It was about 1989.