I don’t really know what category to put this under. I have a TBI, and I’ve had a very stressful past few years. I took in a homeless paranoid schizophrenic for half a year then I wound up getting beriberi after I started to kind of emulate his behavior such as living off almost exclusively alcohol and cigarettes. I might have PTSD as well. I saw a trauma psychologist a while back and one visit she would say that I might have schizophrenia then next visit that I probably don’t. Someone tried to commit me once and the psych there said that I most likely don’t have schizophrenia. After I was hit but a truck and ran over by a sedan when I was in the ER I had a kind of psychotic break and was hallucinating Spiders crawling all over my body; but then again I was just a victim of a double hit and run and spent a month in a near death state on a fuckload of drugs.
When I had a schizophrenic living with me he kept telling me that its all one giant equation and I keep like looking back retroactively at my life and thinking that maybe I can figure it out. Maybe god through circumstances has a plan for my life that I can figure out and maybe he can guide me like a compass so I know what I can do to finally be happy with my life. Or maybe I can figure it all out so I can avoid every failure like maybe I can figure out whatever I need to say to get what I want whenever I want something or someone. Do I seem schizophrenic or not? I don’t think I have any delusions, and I don’t hallucinate 99% of the time but the lack of motivation I do agree with; its like no matter what I do its not going to change anything and I’ll be stuck living out a life not worth living out. Am I crazy because people keep telling me my behavior is crazy but I’m thinking somewhat normally…? Do any of you think I have schizophrenia…?