I don't know how to feel about this. Advice? TLDR at bottom

I’m a person who is very interested in the natural sciences, particularly that of cognitive neuroscience. I think a lot about consciousness and the idea of the self in nature and how that relates to our neurons and other physical systems.

Anyways, my t and I talk a lot about it in session and occasionally she will slip in things like “does that ever make you wonder if schizophrenia is real?” And I never fücking expect it. Or she’ll say something like “well does that mean that mental illness is not real?” And I have absolutely no idea what she is trying to get at.

Usually I can tell exactly what her intentions are. If she’s trying to pull me out of a potentially dangerous conversation or when she’s poking at something I don’t really want to talk about, but really should be. With those questions I can never tell. Does she think I’m not mentally ill? Am I not mentally ill?

I have a feeling she’s trying to gauge how in touch or out of touch with “reality” I am, but I just have no idea. Those questions- or not even the questions themselves, but rather the intentions of those questions- linger with me for soooo long. To the point where I begin to become paranoid about it.

Sometimes I think maybe she’s trying to trick me into thinking that I’m not ill so I’ll be overly confident and she can do something behind my back. Or that I was never ill in the first place and while I was in the hospital they pumped me full of drugs that made me susceptible to suggestion or something and she’s part of it. That makes me afraid to see her. I know it’s not true but I can’t stop thinking it. I’m trying to be logical about this.

It makes me feel like I’m losing my ability to read/connect to others. I don’t know. I’m rambling now. Anyways, anyone have advice for this??? What should I do?

TLDR: Therapist occasionally asks if schizophrenia is real or if I think I have it. It throws me off bad. What do I do?

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I think she may be trying to gauge your connection to reality and determine if you’re having thoughts of leaving your meds or taking other actions based on the notion of not being mentally ill. Obviously, it’s having the opposite effect, so you might talk to her about it and get some closure.


I have a hard time talking to her about… well her.

I see. I can’t help much beyond provide insight, but my recommendation out of the goodness of my heart is to try and push through that and talk to her about it. Again, I don’t know you as a person so that might not be good advice, take it with a grain of salt.

It’s hard to bring things up to docs. I’m a bit in the same boat with mine she keeps doing things that make me scared but idk how to stop her. I try to just bring it up as gently as possible if I can but it’s hard to get the nerve. I normally make a joke if it goes bad though.

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