I dont feel worthy of life :(

I just feel so damn depressed I hate this illness for what it has done to me. It has completely shattered what little dreams I had and a hope for a family. I dont see a point of living if I have to live like this and with all the bad that gos on in this world. Knowing that I’ll most likely have to do it alone is what terrifies me the most. I honestly wish I was dead. I dont have a thing going for me


I know what you mean. This illness sucks.


You seem to be very down lately. Have you talked to your dr about it? Do you have any medication for your depression?

No I dont I’m scared to take it incase they up my dosage of antipsychotics.I think it’s just reality hitting me all at once I’m scared my illness will get worse though with my depression

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What symptoms are you experiencing? It seems that you are depressed? Or am I wrong?

I’m having very mixed thoughts and feelings at the moment one minute I want to do this then I dont want to do it. For example I brought some art supplies intending to do them but next minute I want the throw them out because I think it’s a waste of time. I believe I get highs and lows

From the look of it. You need an antidepressant, not an increase in ap’s.

You should talk to your doc about it.

Is there something bothering you or are you just feeling down without a reason?

Its just everything I dont feel content with who I am. I feel completely and utterly ruined and feel it’s best for myself and everyone if i i just ended it. I wish I could be someone else so badly but I cant so there is no point even thinking about it.

I sort of want children now too thinking about it but I just dont feel worthy of having them due to my illness and all my other issues

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Plus I dont think anyone will want someone so broken when they can have another that is brandnew

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Don’t do anything to hurt yourself @dreamlessdreamer . I’ve been going through what you described lately. But you have to keep fighting.

I’d definitely mention all of this to a doctor/psychiatrist though. Taking an extra pill or increased dose is much better than being dead.

We’re all in the same boat here. The disease has taken so much from all of us.


I have the same problem. I don’t see the point of it all. But what are you going to do? You have to do something, right?

I think art is awesome. It’s awesome that we as a species can paint a picture and find beauty in it. And there’s so many varieties in it. You can paint abstract, realistic, cartoonish and so on.

But talk to your doc, tell them you are depressed. And don’t you dare throw out your stuff!


Thank you I really appreciate your kind words ever hopeful I just hope one day in our life time they find a true cure for this illness

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I do have some good news. The good news is that depression can fade and go away on its own. I was depressed for a long time, but after about a decade it went away on its own. I know that is a long time to wait, but that was just my experience, everyone is different. That is unlike my psychosis, that is for life, usually is for most people. I quit my AD 3-4 years ago and I am fine, but whenever I lower or quit my AP I become psychotic.

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I know the feeling. It’s okay to not be okay. We both can learn to take things day by day. Peace

You shouldn’t feel unworthy. Negative people probably made you feel that way. You never know when things will change. When I was first diagnosed I started smoking because I didn’t feel any hope for a future or able to change things. It was a terrible mistake. I don’t feel that way now. I feel there were a lot of things I could have done better.


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