I don't feel me and my partner will work?

I’m very scared of saying something or doing something to hurt his feelings and I’m gonna end up being abusive … Not intentionally but… I really don’t wanna hurt him. I’m scared I’m a bad person. Or gonna turn into one during an episode.

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Everyone hurts each other sometimes. It turns abusive when it becomes a pattern, when one or both parties refuse to take accountability for the pain they cause, etc. Most times, though, it’s just people trying their best and making mistakes.

I’ve been with Mr. Star over 8 years and we have faced some scary times together. During those times, we didn’t always act our best. We didn’t always treat each other the way we would have if we were thinking clearly.

But afterwards, we apologize. We own our actions, we work on our behavior. We do what we can to stop it from happening again.

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Maybe he’s frustrating you?

With him not committing to engagement or marriage?

You have the right to feel frustrated at this point.

Communication is important in a relationship

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No. But having an episode and losing control of what I’m saying really scares me … I do want to marry him but I’m afraid I’ll ruin things.

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I’m sure he’d be understanding.
I’ve done some hurtful things when psychotic but my family is pretty forgiving.

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You are not a bad person

And during an episode, if something crosses the line I think he will understand because he did the first time.

Also, I noticed with me that the more episodes I have, the faster I start to think, umm is this real??

So maybe it will be the same with you

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