I do not know how to commit sexually

Well I’m not going to say anything, but when one party or the other tries to fix me up, I’m just going to say No Thanks, I’m asexual, and hopefully they will stop trying to fix me up.

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Schweeeeeeet. :grin:

Now, my services as a dating coach ain’t cheap. This is gonna cost ya three blurays.


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yes, you know what is in your best interest more than others.

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:moneybag:, you deserve a whole bag of money from me, hee hee

use it wisely, my friend!

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I’m different down there due to abuse. I totally get that. I also understand the sexual issues. I’ve mostly overcome them with my husband, but they still linger a bit

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does therapy help at all? I personally found that it did not, plus there was only so much that I wanted to say.

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I’m starting therapy to deal with it in January. Hopefully I am comfortable with my new therapist enough to do it

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Best of luck with it, you deserve for things to improve. I am happy to hear that you have mostly overcome it with your husband, that is very encouraging to hear.

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Thanks @anon83141956

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letting go of things you are holding onto mentally is a good start towards healing, keeping an open mind is good too, bed time for me now lol, Zzzzzz


thanks, I will have a think about what you said

goodnight to you, :slight_smile:

I personally think just like a physical scar, there is emotional scars that will never go they just are there, for me anyways.

I risk getting psychotic if I try to rip open those scars by ‘letting go’ of that fear. and plus opening those scars is like very uncomfortable, I would not be in a joyful state.

IDK if that makes sense, but I honestly am happy to have heard your opinion. because it is good to reflect on stuff that come from other perspectives.

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for me letting go of something is not the same as opening up old wounds, scars will heal, they might leave a mark but they will heal, letting go of something to me means something different to me, its more about putting all those things to rest if you understand.

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Although a healthy sex life is important, as one ages it begins not to be the most important thing. Most people probably would change lots of things on how they look, not just their genitals

One has be to be happy with how they look to progress to a happy relationship and show that confidence. Keep in mind that very few have what all would consider to be perfect

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If you lived in Australia I’d ask you out on a date…

I think sex is a serious and intimate thing, so you need to find a good person that loves you and cares about you to have a good experience, otherwise as Kant said it is just objectification and abuse.

If you fear sex becoming a issue you could seek out someone who seems patient so that you have the possibility to talk about sex beforehand and take it slow when the time comes.

I’m also sexually messed up. I have been using porn to escape from real life and a way to hurt myself, and also using sexual fantasy to escape from life. It’s become a way to deal with stress and unpleasant things to think of. I have been afraid to face myself. This behaviour might also actually be linked to my psychosis. My first encounter with sex was stumbling over a porn video when I was young, and maybe this made a premise for what I thought sex was about.

I have just now become aware of SAA, and I am trying to become sexually abstinent. I only made it through 8 days so far, but trying to get through it taking it slow, one day at a time.

Thanks so much for all the responses.

They help me.

@Mr_Hope, best of wishes with practicing abstinence. 8 days is a great starting step.


I can love a person but i don’t want to have sex. So I just don’t commit to relationships (if i came outside at all) in fear of him wanting to have sex with me.

maybe of meds or the sza I have or both

but sex can be over rated sometimes