Schizophrenia.com

I discovered a character defect in me

Its my meaness. What you suggest ? What cause it ? It seems it comes out of the blue. I am aware of it so much later when its to late being sorry.

I’m conceited, big headed, and prideful sometimes; but I’m getting more humble from sz.

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Would you say that at the moment of being mean you are angry and trying to cause harm, or that you aren’t aware you’re being mean until someone explains why it was mean later on?

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Starlet can be very mean sometimes, but it is because his previous parents insulted him and made fun of him a lot as regular conversation, so he learned that was a normal way to communicate. Sometimes he will say “you’re such a dumbass” when I make a mistake, and I say “that hurt my feelings” and he is genuinely confused because he wasn’t TRYING to hurt my feelings. He was trying to make a joke we could both laugh at and grew up thinking those jokes were friendly and normal.

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That is nice. I never talked about emotional things with my parents. Just slowly do I learn about these things. I don’t know i ve been mean, just later after the revenge I guess I remember. I got better and apologise when I have the chance, but sometimes I realise the hurt so much later.

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