I can't sleep tonight

Hi to all. The experience of new life discoveries is keeping me awake tonight. I feel they are new because I never experienced them before and I am afraid of reversion. I just reverted to my old self but didn’t lose the new self so I guess it’s okay. I don’t want to go in reverse ever. I feel like I am always moving forward. I don’t wish to undergo another relapse ever. I told myself I never would but just this year I been twice. And I stuck to the doctors. I took my meds my brain normally would have been in sleep by now. Excited I guess is all it is. Starting life in a new location is rough. You stay home living, but you still feel like your in your former location. Until I ventured out and had some FaceTime I didn’t realize how easy socializing was, and how many years I wasted in a shell. Fear does that. I am nice on these boards but in person I’m all about business. It’s nice to have a comfortable online environment. Because my etiquette changes miserably when I’m in town. I prefer nice settings. It was the caffeine actually now that I remember, been drinking it to do music not the energy drinks just coffee oh well there goes my schedule I’ll probably kiss the morning sun goodbye and wake up all disoriented in the afternoon and do it all over again. 33 a little too old to be learning what I should have like some of you in life in your twenties. But I was the only child spoiled military brat. Recovering addict for 15 years now. Can’t go back to what brought me down. I’m smarter now have a lot more wisdom care a lot more and can care a lot less too unfortunately at times. But sleep isn’t nothing to worry about who gets 8 hours every night anyways my trucker pal barely gets any sleep hustling across the states in his rig with his haul. I’m lucky to be supported! I don’t even have a legit job with taxes. But I can keep myself occupied with music. Blogs so many people to talk to, to get to know and I been in a shell coz my illness. I realize now that’s why I am up I just hatched and am ready this time no errors. Thanks for the read guys it’s 5:00am here and I’m chatting with people where it is 5:00pm amazing round world. I gtg bye

One day without sleep is OK. But many days without sleep may have problem. So you are from military family?

Same here I slept shortly after now it is 10:00am and I feel rested but I know how symptoms work so much better with sleep. So I’m getting back to it. Yes my father was pictured in the Boston Herald in 1991 carrying a casket with 5 other soldiers of the first soldier that died in Saudi Arabia during the gulf war. Always lived in places 3 years then would have to move again growing up during childhood lead to a middle school with bullying started getting into trouble went downhill at that point into drugs like I said I’m a 15 year recovering meth addict whose seen the worst got scathed but got out survived now I must rely on meds for the remainder of my life like many

Line breaks buddy…

That is very difficult to read.

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Reading my text isn’t simple I have a complicated life I express in a profound manner that’s the schizo’s trying to be like the normals out here

And stop judging your own sanity even judges need their own judge and it’s money in God we trust what a funny concept