I cant open up

iv’e only got 10 minute to type i’m in math and i’m with this boy who hates me bc i cant open up but… i don’t know how ive always been told everything iv’e ever believed was not real and that i’m doing it for attention iv’e stopped trying i have no one who is stabble and understands i know i’m not all here i know a lot about psych its something i’m interested in bc i relate to it and no one else is there to help me out with my brain rn i’m on a bipolar medicine but the thing is i’m not bipolar but they don’t care to actully try and figure everything out bc i cant open up… i see things i don’t know whats real or a dream i just don’t know anymore i don’t understand how someone can be so aware of how unaware they are if that makes sense and i know i’m going to get hate for not being diagnosed but i need someone who understands and doesn’t think i’m looking for attention…

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Yes, that makes sense to a lot of us here. Feel free to talk about your experiences, I hope you can open up a little bit here, being anonymous and all. We’ve all experienced strange thoughts that would make “normal” people cringe.

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It’s hard being comfortable in person. But I think you will find this place very warm and welcoming and I hope you do stick around and open up.

You seem young. Take this forum opportunity when I was your age there was no forum. But now a lot of people are engaged with one another online so you are not alone at all.

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Sorry youre struggling so much. I can relate to what you said. We are here for you. I find it easier to open up here than other places.

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i have already opened up here more than i have with anyone, yes i’m very young 'im 15 i move schools a lot so i never really got a chance to open up to people and feel safe in new to this school today marks my first month iv’e made a few friends and yeah no one i feel like i can open up to at my old school i had a new couslor (i don’t know how to spell that) and i did open up to her and she wanted me to get signed up for this drug abuse and Dr who helps with mental help that came with transportation but… i moved before i could. and i’m a very sensitive person not with emotions because i barley have those its with vibes i get iffy tords EVERYONE and just no one sits well with me. iv’e always been like that i just cant get close to people. i was diagnosed with a bad anxiety and vertigo because of migraines but migraines don’t explain why i see a little girl in my room or hear a middle aged woman calling out when i’m home alone or giant boot steps pacing outside my door when its just me and my mom who live here or someone trying to pry my window open just i don’t understand these things and people just don’t get it iv’e had expirences that i cant comprihend like seeing myself in the library as i’m someone else HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

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Connecting with others can be very difficult. I didn’t realize I was always disconnected until I wain my twenties… I’m telling you this so maybe you can start seeing a doctor and counselor and talk about this with them. That you feel that it’s tough to open up. Anywa I did learn how to feel more connected after I realized i didn’t feel connected for so long.

I never realized it until one boyfriend recently its just something I never thought was a problem and counselors are difficult because of my mom she thinks they are pointless and we can deal with stuff our self I’ve seen school counselors at my old school and she was amazing then I moved and my new counselor I don’t like she gives me a weird vibe so I stopped going to her since my brother o.d’d I’ve been telling my mom I need someone to talk to about it outside of school because she knows how if a person gives me a vibe I can’t suck that up so many people I don’t like because of bad vibes she knows that I need someone to talk to about my brother but I’m using that as an excuse to talk to one about my mind

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Definitely get into counseling to talk about your mind and brother. Sounds like a good idea. I am hear to talk too, but I am not a professional so I can only listen and be there for you.

My parents didn’t think I needed counseling either. It took a big break for me to get help. I hope you get help now.

I hear about breaks and I share so many traits with everyone here and I’m scared what if it happens to me I already freak out over the little things that have been getting worse

Talk your mom into getting you counseling and maybe a psychiatrist. Be honest with her. Tell her how bad you are struggling. Sorry things are going so bad for you. Also sorry to hear about your brother. Hang in there

he was the only one who even tried two understand now his best friend is staying with us and he’s they only one I got my mom would be kinda ok with just a counselor but anyone that can prescribe medicine she doesn’t want me to see 2 years and 3 months and 15 days until I can make my own desicions and I can’t wait but you know whose counting… I’ve tried opening up to her I mean most of this isn’t new just getting worse and when I was little I told her she thought it was just imaginary friends but they never went away and they weren’t my friends I mean you’d think she’d worried when her 5 year old is having panic attacks from the creatures who were in my head and they are they same monsters now Ive told her and still now try to but she knocks every word about it out of my mouth and tells me I’m fine I’m just a teenager these things are normal…

I hear ya. It definitely isnt normal. I’m glad you realize that it isnt normal. If you find a counselor that’s a start. Could you also talk to a primary care doctor about what is going on?

I wish I could talk to my dr my moms always with me wjen I go

Tell your counselor you wish to see a psychiatrist. A counselor is very limited in her/her knowledge and may end up giving you bad advice. Insist that the problem is serious and that you wish to speak to a mental health professional ASAP - you may also say you need help getting the attention of your mother and the counselor can act as a mediator to get you the necessary attention from your mother. Even a therapist can only do so much. Again, if you think you have a problem and are being misdiagnosed, it’s in your best interest to go see a psychiatrist - even if you’ve already seen one. Don’t sell yourself short by being evaluated solely by therapists/counselors. They are not trained to diagnose you.

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I agree with kirb. The counselor can be a stepping stone to getting in to see a psychiatrist. Keep talking to your mom about how you feel maybe she will come around and the counselor can help with opening your mom’s eyes to the fact that you need help.

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