Schizophrenia.com

I can't even come up with a title

Things just haven’t been making any sense to me, lately. Everyone seems so distant, these days.
The people in my head don’t come around much, anymore. I feel so scared and empty when they’re gone, and I want them to come back and talk to me.
I haven’t been sleeping… I am always exhausted.
I relapsed and cut up my arms. I am so stupid, because I know better than to cut there. Now I have to wear long sleeves till spring.
I can’t get a job, and I have no money and hardly any food left.
We have to do a family intervention soon, for my sister, because she won’t got to rehab. She doesn’t want to talk to me or be around me much, anymore. Even my mom is getting sick of me.
I am back at my high weight, despite the amout I have been working out, these days.
Everything just feels so out of control, such a mess.
I am non-existent. I feel like I’m dreaming. I don’t know what’s real. I feel like I’m high, even when I’m not. I don’t know what to do.

Been there, believe it or not it gets better, you just have to work for it.

For cutting? I always cut my legs, I can’t wear shorts anymore. But I got better.

Weight? its just a measurement, doesn’t mean much.

You just have to work through it. My family hates the fact I am sick and ignores it, the first time my mom showed any interest in my illness at all was on Thursday when I nearly had a breakdown because of med withdrawal, so I know where you are coming from there. She is still holding it over my head that she took me to the ER and waited for three hours for me to get treatment.

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I think you need to take it one thing at a time, we all look at our concerns together to take in the scope of everything that’s wrong.all massed together it seems insurmountable. So pick your most important aspect that you want to rectify and try to dedicate yourself to solving that one problem. It obviously won’t solve every thing but slowly you’ll make progress through your list and maybe feel like you have some control in the situation. Remember you’ll stumble along the way but if you plow on, things will start to look up for you. Wishing you the best of luck

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If it’s any comfort, most of the people on this site have felt like you do at one time or another. Stay on this site. People can help you here. Just remember, you can get through this. It can get better.

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I am so sorry Bunny. I think I have problems until I read a thread like this. Please try to take care of yourself and stop cutting !! easy to say, hard to do I realize. I was never a cutter so I don’t understand except I know it happens when cutters are stressed. Please stay in close contact with your pdoc. I am glad your voices are gone. Please know you are loved.

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I usually cut my hips, where no one can see. I haven’t cut my arms in years.
I’m sorry your family treats you that way. I hope you guys can work it out!

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we are working on it, you can too.

My mom suffers from BP Depression, so she has issues dealing with others problems. Thankfully she functions pretty well mostly so she has a job and treats my siblings pretty well. I guess I was always supposed to be the normal one who was suppoed to take care of her when she got old and now, well I’ll be lucky if I can care for myself in twenty years…

Aww, @Bunny, you sound like me when I was younger. I’m so sorry for your pain, but believe me that it really does get better! When you feel the urge to cut, or any self harm, try to distract, or wait it out. Those feelings pass. They always pass. And life is cycles so being in a down cycle sucks, but you will get through it and life will cycle up again. Make doable goals for yourself, one at a time, focus, and you’re gonna be ok. :heart:

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Thanks, Jukebox.
I don’t have a pdoc anymore, however. My voices are not gone, they just go aways sometimes. I don’t know which is worse…

I’m really sorry, that sounds so stressful. I hope you are okay.

Forgive me Bunny for saying this, but because you don’t have a pdoc anymore is probably what is wrong with you? you should be on meds dear.

Well, he was not helpful and he basically told me I don’t need meds andI need to get a job. He doesn’t realize how hard I have been trying, but no onewants to hire me.

It’s the story that counts.

Find another p doc. Or another One who will listen. Or maybe the first one was right…I don’t know -

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Tomorrow is a new day. Try to get on over to the public aid office and get a link card.it’s a quick process,hit up some food pantrys as well so you’ll be good until your card comes in. Far as the job situation,I’m looking for one too…or waiting. The time will come. Just p.u.s.h. stay persistent until something happens. Apply everyday. I haven’t been applying lately.I gave up a little bit on the job interview since the last two employers shot me down . But that’s the thing,doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. Use the laws of attraction and meditate to a good album.most importantly remember your purpose

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