I can't do this talking thing

I can’t talk to my mental health worker. She wants to know about hard topics I can’t talk about. Things I’ve stuffed down inside already that need to stay there. I think I’ll cancel. I’m freaking out about it. I’m thinking bad thoughts like maybe I’ll get into a big accident or have a heart attack before then. Some things shouldn’t be talked about. I don’t. I can’t. I’m so scared. I don’t know how to hide.

Are you sure you should hide?
I mean, the whole point of having a mental health worker is to tell them your worries, right?
If there are some subjects you don’t feel comfortable discussing, you could tell her so.

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That kinda of stuff should slowly be incorporated overtime not all issues thrown at your face.

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I’ve only seen her twice. The first time was ok. Last time was scarier. But now she said next time she wants to talk about subjects that are just too difficult. Stuff I don’t want to dredge up from the past. I just wanted help with my anxiety mostly

Then you should tell her that. Tell her that you need some time to trust a person before you delve into things that are too heavy.

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I think it would be best to build a trusting relationship first before discussing these issues.

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I will do that. I’m just so scared to confront her

Yes I agree. She’s super nice but I don’t even know her

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But, you might have to realise that in order to deal with your anxiety, you’ll need to dig up things from your past. All those things are connected. I hope it works out for you though.

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Thank you. I just feel sick about my past. I hate who I was

I feel ya. I’m embarassed about who I used to be, but it’s part of me none the less.

I wrote a poem about how I feel.

Hidden away
Like a little treasure
In the back of a deep dark closet
Full of cobwebs and moth balls
It lies there
Waiting for the day
Its story can be told
Not today I say
Stay in that tattered old cardboard box
Where stories like yours belong
You are not needed
The pain of your story
Is more than any person can bear
So stay in that closet
I’ll lock the door
And pound a nail in for good measure
Stay so I can be safe from your harm
Not all stories need to be told

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well, i dont know whats worse, fear, that you are feeling or anger , tat i was feeling.

Maybe it is not comparable.

I went only three sessions. i think the thing is he kept bring up “relationships”. i am not social and that is a major sore spot to me and he would not get off it.

I think that is part the reason why he dropped me because i refused to go to group. i am shocked i am even here on forum! Alwaysleft his office ticked off.

Yours sounds like a better deal than mine?

Hope it goes well for you. Tell how you done.

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Mine wants to talk about my marriage and split. That’s not a subject want scrutinized. I’m just glad my ex and i can finally get along. I’ll let you know what goes on