Discuss
What do you guys and gals think?
Discuss
What do you guys and gals think?
I think in the beginning it isn’t a choice/decision… you enjoy being around the person and don’t ever wanna be away from the person…
After awhile I think it could be a choice/decision because a lot of people lose that “spark” I think…
For mine and my husbands relationship specifically it is a decision and also not… he is my best friend basically, even tho I put up with a bunch of BS, but also I am more attracted to him now than I was in the beginning🤷‍♀️
It was always a decision for me. I decided to marry my only friend at the time my biological clock was ticking and all my cousins were getting married. I missed out on the crazy infatuation/passion period completely. I figured my options were limited due to my SZ. I was probably right. Is there anybody out there…for me?
IDK, there’s the old saying, “You can’t pick who you fall in love with.”
“You can love someone but do you like them?”
I don’t think I’ve ever chosen to be in love with someone. You are attracted to, and connect with someone, it’s not really a choice
You might come to a fork in the road, of course
Decision or not, I have no frame of reference.
I agree with you about 50%. It helps to have a predisposition to love for you to love someone. Also, there are different kinds of love - agape, or a generalized love for humanity, romantic love, a love for nature, a love for a pet - I could go on. One time our pastor at church when I was a kid said that the ancient Greeks had seven different words for love.
Hm
Thanks for all the responses
This is a deep topic for me
So requires a time where I’m not distracted
Will be back
Fact or fiction truth or lie love is but an obstacle but each one must try for me the choice was easy as I was the chosen one and every day they grew stronger tell I was the only one I learned that life is a given take and not to give too much for if you do your hurt that one the one that means so much
Yea i think its a choice. we also natually are inclined toward it
Loving someone may be a decision or choice to you. However, will that same someone love you back?
Depends on the person. Some people are all about choice, other people will often think they have no choice in given circumstances. I think making the choice is better than thinking that you don’t have one.
I don’t think any feeling is a choice, although you can learn how to cope with them. Feelings are funny things and can hit you when you least expect them too. If feelings were a choice all the depressed and anxious people would choose to feel happy and relaxed.
I’m not super emotional, but i have felt things on occasion, and when i felt them it wasn’t a conscious choice like “I feel like feeling sad today”, when my last dog died it just overcame me at times, nothing I could do about it.
Okes back to this topic.
I believe personally that there are people out there who can have attractive qualities but
No one can complete me except for one person.
And I never meet them until I’m capable of loving in that capacity.
So I guess I’ll be single for a while
Since I don’t need any more drama. Uhuh
I don’t believe love itself is a choice, but we do have a choice in whether or not to nurture or maintain that love.
Also @Zoe no one is gonna have 100% of all the qualities you seek, and I think it’s unhealthy to seek a person to “complete” you.
Do you have irl friends? Maybe work on getting some of your social needs met through interactions with friends. It’s not good to lay the sole responsibility for your happiness and social needs onto one person.
Also, if you have a hard time making friends and/or interacting with them, you need to practice that before entering a relationship because those are way harder.
I do agree with you.
There are things about me that require development and such, including my social life.
I have only one friend atm.
Ofcourse. I agree completely without a doubt.
I need to find myself first, more.
I do believe that a boyfriend can provide me with contentment but he would not be my ONLY thing in life to provide satisfaction and life quality. But having said that he would mean an awful lot to me in my life and… He would feel the same way, THus it is okay because we have mutual ideas.
When I say he completes me
That’s just a saying.
Don’t take it too literally.
I am whole.
But he is like my vitamin x
that’s all I meant by that.
I do think someone is out there with all the qualities I’d like cos I’m not expecting them to be flawless anyway. That would be unrealistic, yea…
Thanks Miika for your contribution
Thankyou for this. That’s a really good way to put it. Yep
This.
I just posted in another thread how I won’t lower my expectations for a partner. But that is in regards to qualities like honesty, compassion, kindness, and intelligence.
Having a laundry list/checklist of “qualities” for a person, say, liking the same things as me, having a certain career, looking a certain way, making a certain amount of money, etc etc etc – it’s not about lowering expectations,
but being more open to someone who might show up in a different package than originally anticipated.
And I agree 100% – you have to have people outside of your relationship. It’s not fair to the other person to expect them to be the “one” who completes you. That’s a lot of pressure and expectation, and when they don’t live up to it (because they can’t), it brings about a lot of hurt feelings.
The impetus to hate in the human race is mighty strong. Usually it is their own kind that people want to fight. Bikers fight other bikers. The Latin Kings fight the Spanish Cobras. The Crips fight the Bloods. This kind of fighting occurs at many levels and in many guises. We’ve fought two world wars. I hope we don’t have to fight another one.