Schizophrenia.com

I appoligize

#1

I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know where this attitude is coming from. I am sorry that I have been rude and all you guys wanted to do was lend me a helping hand and a kind ear.
I like to think I don’t really get high and mighty. I do smirk when I understand something someone else doesn’t. I do get frustrated when a person who wants to be a writer sounds like they have never picked up a book before and wants to tell me about my writing. Or, my favorite, some girls in that class told a girl who had taken probably 3+ years of French to watch her French. She translated and she seemed to be saying simple stuff you would probably learn first semester and one of these girls admitted to having never studied French.
I do think I am smart (but I have been told that my whole life, so if it is a delusion others have fed into it).
I do think I am a good writer (again, a lot of outside confirmation. So if this is a delusion it isn’t entirely my fault.)
But that doesn’t give me the right to be angry at anyone (I am not angry at you guys. You are trying.) I get angry at the people I see in my college who seem to have no desire to improve themselves. I realize this isn’t right. They are in college after all. Doesn’t that mean they want to learn?
It’s just after listening to my Uncle and my Dad engage in academic debates with each other (Greek mythology, political theory) and trying to participate and learn I have received a type of coaching that maybe a lot of people in my school never had. From their discussion with each other I got the desire to learn, to read and educate myself to the best of my ability. I have the reputation here as “that girl who reads” because I enjoy reading while I eat.
But I have no right to think I am better than anyone. We were all created equal with our own flaws and our own strengths.
I am just kinda embarrassed now that I got so angry I had a delusion. I thought some of my classmates were in a secret club that I wasn’t invited to and talking bad about me.

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#2

i don’t know why you are apologizing ?
i must have missed that post…
we have all types of people on here, the funny people, the serious, the self rightous , trolls, the kind , the caring, the supportive.
i don’t get along with everyone nor do i see eye to eye with everyone.
don’t be hard on your self i think most of us are pretty forgiving…
if i have run ins with people, that is just life, it is best to take it with a pinch of salt.
ignore those that think they are superior or are trolls and chat to those you have a common ground with.
hope you have a better day.
take care

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#3

I must have missed that too. EVERYBODY likes to feel like they’re a little better than someone else. So as long as it’s not your dominant trait, then don’t worry about it!! It’s human nature. Don’t worry about taking it easy on ‘normies’… Believe me, most of them are ten times better equipped to protect themselves than us. I’m not saying to be mean or rude or superior to ALL of them. But just have the awareness that we are often on the bottom of the totem pole, the low rung on the ladder. And we need every gift we have available to just hold our own. I’ve been told I’m smart. I need to hear that. It helps to hear it. Good luck.I must have missed your offensive post, but I’ve skimmed over a few of your answers and you’re alright. Good luck.

#4

Me neither, I have no idea why youre apologising. Are you suffering delusions in relation to this.

#5

I wasn’t here to read what you wrote before, but when I’m having a bad time I get so delusional, like my friends are out to hurt me, or that they keep valuable information from me, or that my colleagues at work are conspiring against me, it’s maybe because these things do happen, and it’s just a precaution to be careful and be ready to defense oneself of what a person might perceive as a threat.

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#6

I had been kinda like you having an strong mind and very limited ethics about how to live but after my illness and taking meds and turning to different persons by different meds, now I know that this is sth about physical structure and chemical balances of brain, if you are so smart and witty good for you but be honest, does this world works with everyone like you? so until not being annoyed by others intentionally and even so we must like people, respect them and be friend with them and in my opinion this needs highest levels of intelligence and wit.

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#7

My kid sister’s new and cool boss has a saying that is rubbing of on her…

“Give the benefit of the doubt and don’t just assume people are out to be intentionally bad. They just might not know any better given their life experiences.”

Her other favorite that I like to quote is… “patience young grasshopper”

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#8

Very much like her boss’s saying. It’s so true.

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#9

I just feel like I’m being a rabid dog these days. My teacher (the one whose class I was having trouble with the other students in) said that it sounded like I was doing the right thing, not backing down when I thought they were wrong.
The problem now is my writing class. We had workshop where we submit our stories and everyone else gives constructive criticism. I feel like I shouldn’t say anything because my vagrant (a main character) has autism with psychosis and I thought he was schizophrenic before I got on here. I mistook what symptoms I was displaying when I start to nearly hyperventilate. I was mistaking repetition for word salad. So I really shouldn’t be disgusted by what they are doing, but it’s not so much how they are doing it but their plot.
One of them is trying to write a cutesy murder mystery while the other sounds like a Fifty Shades of Grey knock off. I want to create art. Like Metamorphosis by Kafka, or Crime and Punishment. I don’t understand why someone in the bud of their process wouldn’t dream big. If my ambitions wither at the vine and I have to write Harlequin romances to survive because I can’t do anything else (like business or law, or even flip burgers), so be it. But none of us really have any talent or know what we are doing yet so we underestimate our competition to the extreme. I don’t understand if when we feel like we don’t have limits we would settle for writing a sex fantasy instead of something thought provoking.

#10

Maybe try to remember that what is important to and for you may not be important to someone else and we all view the world, art, talent, etc differently. Harlequin is an art form to me. I love romance novels and losing myself in them for short periods of time, even started writing one. If the writer didn’t have talent they wouldn’t be able to draw me in the way that someone like Johanna Lindsay can :smile:

Good luck in your writing class.

#11

How on earth did kidsister know about this?

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#12

My Dad is a huge Kung Fu fan and got the entire DVD set a while ago. My kid sis watched it far too many times… and now she’s hooked.

If I can snatch the keys from her hand, I can leave the temple and drive the car… :stuck_out_tongue:

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#13

Ha! Good one! I was in middle school when that show came out. All of a sudden everybody thought they were cool by doing Kung Fu kicks. And everybody went around calling each other ‘grasshopper’.

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