I am worried that I get tired only when listening to others talking

I remained kinda of silent for long… but for this time, I was boiling inside of me, that I talk so few, I even had irritability about that for decades…
Now that I try to open myself on every level, I sometimes get overwhelmed and I even end up with headaches when others talk too much…
Is it normal? :smirk: will I regain in talking, with less irritability too and mostly with less anhedonic too I guess if it’s that??
Patience still and continuing my efforts to open more??

hm, which meds and dosages are you on. im just curious

Zyprexa, 10 mgs…

i found that when i was overweight and on meds i found it very easy to lose patience

now that im a nearly normal weight i dont lose patience as easily with ppl. wen they talkin

well back then i was also on a higher dose

but for me, i feel that obesity and overweightness actually interferes with the meds in a destructive way!

anyways, wishing you well :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

You are not on meds anymore? Maybe they depress also, yeap… you meant that?
Why overweightness and losing more patience?
I am a bit stuck with the zyprexa, it’s not a good idea to stop it now I think, I was an animal without it :sweat:

im still on it, just lower dose…

not sure, was just my experience,but it really did happen like that.

i agree with you…and 10 mg is a good dose of zyprexa not so high.

Yeah, maybe you wasnt happy about yourself…
I am still quite unwell, but now that I’ve try to get better, I just see the consequences of my illness… I lived in isolation for 20 years in fact, this would have driven mad everyone I think…
Yeah, I tried many meds before, with no help, so now I try with the minimum. Just 10 mgs of zyprexa in our illness is almost nothing, I know… I was on depakote before, but it didn’t help at all neither my irritability neither my anger neither my mood… nothing…

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Should I continue fighting now, that I knew 20 years of isolation behind me?? I am on the end of my forces to fight tbh :pensive: it’s too much for a human being… No med will fix the consequences of my isolation, we tried this for ten years…
But the people around me are already wondering if I am not dying now with what I caused to my body and mind… :disappointed_relieved: should I continue fighting, really?? Yeah…

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I also feel tired and irritable when talking to ppl other than my parents and brothers. With others I also become sleepy like sleeping with eyes open. My jealousy of normal ppl also kills me, 2 days ago it gave me thoughts about harming the visitors. I didn’t do it bcz I will end up in prison or mental hospital for criminals for life.

Aziz, you seem to have some minimum of peace of mind. It’s a good base dear :blush: me, I am terrified so much, that I lose the ability to walk outside sometimes or I feel like puking, no peace of mind from paranoia or whatever it is…

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yes you should if you want to.

maybe think about what things you like doing and do those things :slight_smile: ? just a little bit at a time nothing too overwhelming. at least you dont hear voices right? thats a good thing

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Ok,thank you :slightly_smiling_face: no, I dont hear voices…

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I think, that I was a bad person though, with all the dark thoughts that I had for years… :pensive::pensive:
Idk when this torture will stop too…
My ill friend told me, that she would have killed herself in my place…
The meds never helped my torments never… I hate my conversion disorder too… and I am meant to be a better person now… while maybe I am good only for the hospital now…

I’m uncomfortable around everyone most of the time, except my fiancée.

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Idk when this will get better… idk what is to feel fine, I never knew it, I was sick since kid…
And now, I am more alone than anyone else…
My mom is not so bad person, but she keeps saying that I’ll be forever ill and alone…

I think feeling ok or happy is an illusion.

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Will the pain stop one day?? I wish I’d be free lol, but I was so low for decades, that I was just dying i think… why fight now, when it’s a pain 24/7??

@Anna1 :slight_smile:

Yeap, ok, feeling ok is an illusion, it clarifies me a bit… maybe I just became dumb, idk…
Can I get better on the pain even if I am alone, just with efforts? :roll_eyes:

Can I do it after my 20 years of isolation really?? I am not sure, that my friends believe it anymore…
Why I dont progress?? I am dumbed by the meds or the illness or what?
Idk what I need to do anymore to get better… yeah, maybe those things doesn’t happen by a good thing…