I remained kinda of silent for long… but for this time, I was boiling inside of me, that I talk so few, I even had irritability about that for decades…
Now that I try to open myself on every level, I sometimes get overwhelmed and I even end up with headaches when others talk too much…
Is it normal? will I regain in talking, with less irritability too and mostly with less anhedonic too I guess if it’s that??
Patience still and continuing my efforts to open more??
hm, which meds and dosages are you on. im just curious
Zyprexa, 10 mgs…
i found that when i was overweight and on meds i found it very easy to lose patience
now that im a nearly normal weight i dont lose patience as easily with ppl. wen they talkin
well back then i was also on a higher dose
but for me, i feel that obesity and overweightness actually interferes with the meds in a destructive way!
anyways, wishing you well
You are not on meds anymore? Maybe they depress also, yeap… you meant that?
Why overweightness and losing more patience?
I am a bit stuck with the zyprexa, it’s not a good idea to stop it now I think, I was an animal without it
im still on it, just lower dose…
not sure, was just my experience,but it really did happen like that.
i agree with you…and 10 mg is a good dose of zyprexa not so high.
Yeah, maybe you wasnt happy about yourself…
I am still quite unwell, but now that I’ve try to get better, I just see the consequences of my illness… I lived in isolation for 20 years in fact, this would have driven mad everyone I think…
Yeah, I tried many meds before, with no help, so now I try with the minimum. Just 10 mgs of zyprexa in our illness is almost nothing, I know… I was on depakote before, but it didn’t help at all neither my irritability neither my anger neither my mood… nothing…
Should I continue fighting now, that I knew 20 years of isolation behind me?? I am on the end of my forces to fight tbh it’s too much for a human being… No med will fix the consequences of my isolation, we tried this for ten years…
But the people around me are already wondering if I am not dying now with what I caused to my body and mind… should I continue fighting, really?? Yeah…
I also feel tired and irritable when talking to ppl other than my parents and brothers. With others I also become sleepy like sleeping with eyes open. My jealousy of normal ppl also kills me, 2 days ago it gave me thoughts about harming the visitors. I didn’t do it bcz I will end up in prison or mental hospital for criminals for life.
Aziz, you seem to have some minimum of peace of mind. It’s a good base dear me, I am terrified so much, that I lose the ability to walk outside sometimes or I feel like puking, no peace of mind from paranoia or whatever it is…
yes you should if you want to.
maybe think about what things you like doing and do those things ? just a little bit at a time nothing too overwhelming. at least you dont hear voices right? thats a good thing
Ok,thank you no, I dont hear voices…
I think, that I was a bad person though, with all the dark thoughts that I had for years…
Idk when this torture will stop too…
My ill friend told me, that she would have killed herself in my place…
The meds never helped my torments never… I hate my conversion disorder too… and I am meant to be a better person now… while maybe I am good only for the hospital now…
I’m uncomfortable around everyone most of the time, except my fiancée.
Idk when this will get better… idk what is to feel fine, I never knew it, I was sick since kid…
And now, I am more alone than anyone else…
My mom is not so bad person, but she keeps saying that I’ll be forever ill and alone…
I think feeling ok or happy is an illusion.
Will the pain stop one day?? I wish I’d be free lol, but I was so low for decades, that I was just dying i think… why fight now, when it’s a pain 24/7??
Yeap, ok, feeling ok is an illusion, it clarifies me a bit… maybe I just became dumb, idk…
Can I get better on the pain even if I am alone, just with efforts?
Can I do it after my 20 years of isolation really?? I am not sure, that my friends believe it anymore…
Why I dont progress?? I am dumbed by the meds or the illness or what?
Idk what I need to do anymore to get better… yeah, maybe those things doesn’t happen by a good thing…