I Am Losing My Mind

Hi there,

My name is Justin and I’m new to this forum. I have been suffering from Paranoid Schizophrenia for 13 years - despite the meds, therapy, psychosocial rehabilitation, easy lifestyle of little responsibility - it just isn’t enough - I sometimes spend weeks in bed dealing with awful visions, voices and sounds, depression - I can almost seem to feel my brain changing …

I am looking for someone (or several) people who is dealing with these types of issues to connect with and maybe re-claim what this monster called Schizophrenia has taken from me …

Thank you.

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Hey, a lot of us here can relate to all that. It really sucks.

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One insight I had was that a fear of hurting myself kept me in bed and inactive.

Hi Justin! :wave: Welcome to the forum. I think you’ll find that a lot of people here have similar issues and can relate. It’s a good place to get some socialization and support. I look forward to reading your posts! :slightly_smiling_face:

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Welcome to the forum @Cloudd3ad :upside_down_face:

Have you tried taichi or meditation exercises? Focusing on the air coming in and out of my nose helps calm them. Reading keeps them mostly quiet tho.

I know the feel

So - I can see people who were friends of mine during my teen years Popping in and out of my mind in vision or figments of my imagination… They demand money from me and threaten me if I don’t pay them … I became so Paranoid I started to baracade my front door to my apartment with a folding chair at night so if anyone came into my apartment I would here them and be ready ----

This was rock bottom for me - I have reached the greatest epiphany that I can’t fight this on my own and what I’ve been doing is not working … I practice breathing exercises and meditation - I’m still very unhappy … I feel like no matter what I have to force myself to do anything - what can I do to take away these visions instead of taking pills and more or less ignore them ?

13 years is a long time. Have you tried many different meds?

And welcome to the forum ! :sunny:

I have been on abilify, geodone, haldol, risperidone - I’ve been on pretty much all the Schizophrenia medication there is and eventually was placed on clozapine as a last resort medication because nothing else worked for me… I became dependant on it and without it I’m feverish and barfing …

What dose of Clozapine are you on if you don’t mind me asking? Is there any room to increase the dosage ?

Sorry you’re still suffering.

Are you still on it?

I take 4 pills of clozapine or 200 mg every night at bedtime — I’m also on some other meds but clozapine is most important…

Yes, I am taking them… I’ll see my psych Dr in a month…

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Well google says maximum dose is 900mg. And the target dose is 300-450mg a day.

So don’t give up yet.

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