I won’t be as complete or better than someone,will try my best and lower my expectation.High and false expectation makes a mental health patient more depress
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Just because there are some things you struggle with and aren’t able to do doesn’t mean you can’t do things you enjoy. You are still a valid person and you still have strengths and things you are good at too.
Sounds like you have low self esteem atm.
You have any friends or family you can spend time with on the weekend?
I almost always feel better when I have spent time with people I like.
Even if its just for an hour or something.
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No you shouldn’t expect too much of certain things but it’s ok to strive for some things. You can still set goals and work towards them. If at first you fail, you just get up, brush yourself off, and try again. You don’t just throw up your hands and give up. Try.
Yesterday I set the goal to do 11 chores, I only did 6. I’m not mad at me. I’m happy I did 6. Today I will work on the other 5.
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Hey thanks for writing…I used to make some effort making friends,long or short term friendship,nothing romantic or sexual.For me it just doesn’t last,a year or two the friends leave or I left and we lose contact.I decided I should stop making friends on now and sort of listen to my father advice,he told me I don’t need any friends,I just spend my time working and spend time with family which is probably the best advice for me since my friendship normally end up negatively
That’s very positive,I hope I can think like you
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You can, be your own friend.
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Everybody needs some kind of friends. Even if its only a couple of people you trust. You’ll find everybody struggles with stuff, and has their own issues. And often times just sharing experiences with other people can feel nice.
Maybe you just haven’t found the right people yet?
It is very hard to make friends as an adult I will admit. I would like to make a new circle of friends too as my friends from my home town have all moved away from where I live. But in order to do that I need to attend something where we have things in common and can interact naturally. Which isn’t something I have in my routine.
I would encourage you to attend some kind of group or club or class in something you are interested in. Even if you don’t make any long terms friends, it may be nice doing things you enjoy with others.
What do you do for work?
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I am from Malaysia,and unfortunately I am working as a retail salesperson with an average salary for my father,family business.I need to work 11 hrs a day for 6 days a week,but since covid happens it becomes 9 hour daily.I just got married and marrying is not an excuse not to make friends and I totally agree if I would be able to have 1-2 friend it could do good for my mental health and overall well being.I am just hoping I can do that in the near future since we are still struggling with covid and the government are advising against socialising still In my country
Well if your a loser it just means you can become a winner.
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Oh I see. Well that is different situation tbh if you cant socialise atm due to restrictions. I’m sure you will eventually. I would follow government guidance. People you meet not following it probably arent very morale people anyway (IMO).
I think its important too to keep an open mind when interacting with people. Don’t write people off until they give you a proper reason to do so. One of my long term friends I thought looked ridiculous when I first met him (very unfashionable) but that kind of stuff doesn’t matter if they are good people.
I do think the most difficult part is actually meeting people in an environment where you can interact with for periods of time naturally. Friendships don’t just spawn immediately from bumping into someone. And it takes a while to actually know people and build trust.
Also, I think calling yourself a loser is wrong. Like leafy said, you ought to be kind to yourself. Its okay to recognise weaknesses - its advantages to do so if you can improve upon it. But don’t insult yourself over it. Everyone has things they don’t like about themselves.
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Stop worrying about the things you can’t do now and put this energy into finding those things you can succeed at. There are still lots of things left to try and have fun with.
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