I am having a terrible morning here!

This Sunday morning is dark and stormy. We have a flood watch until 8pm edt. I have a little headache and all I guess I want to do is sleep. Sleep is evil for me. I used to like to sleep. Now, I hate it! I need very very much to clean my apartment. 1.) I have to clean out my car; since it has been declared a total loss and I have to turn it over to the insurance company to get the “pay-out.” 2.) I just purchased a book on feng-shui. It is telling me and it is right to clean up the clutter, etc to get the full benefit of the feng-shui stuff. This is good; but, I just can’t get motivated. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I feel so awful. I hate the sun because it is so bright and hot it burns and blinds me. When it is dark and stormy, I get lethargic, unmotivated, sad, and sleepy. Bad thoughts enter my brain. I become afraid of everything; including myself. I am miserable. Life is useless. I have even got my Sunday paper yet and its 904 am edt. I also need to take a shower.

I think you should start with a goal…say…like…take a shower…boom, you will already feel better…baby steps.


sometimes when I think/feel like you (which is often) I just do it. Clean up all the stuff, even while being utterly psychotic/insane from a third persons view…a “■■■■ it all” attitude while roaming around breaking stuff in the process…sometimes it helps, but other times id might induce a week+++ long run of insane nightmarish days and nights… it sucks.

I agree with jukebox. Take baby steps. Don’t feel like you have to do all of it. Prioritize and start out small, then work your way up. If you can do even part of what you want it will be a victory for you.


Thank you. After I check again for the paper I will take a shower. If I don’t get a paper by ten am edt, I am going out in the rain to the gas station to get one and complain manana! The paper people here don’t even have anyone in circulation on Sunday mornings! Small Townsville! Then, I’ll take a shower with my baby shampoo, and baby soap. I’ll put on my baby powder cologne and take baby steps. Maybe, I’ll get something to eat. I think babying myself is the key to my success. Thank you!


As @jukebox said baby steps. Also don’t be to hard on yourself Sunday is the day of rest after all.

With cleaning just 5 minutes here and there throughout the day can make a big difference. You can try to get a little done in-between the adds on the TV. Then rest again when the program starts. You will be surprised how much you can get done during the day that way.

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I want to thank everyone’s helpful suggestions. I took a shower with the baby soap and baby shampoo. I got dressed and put on my favorite baby powder perfume. I went to Jack in the Box and got their Munchie Meal. It had a big sourdough cheeseburger, two tacos, curly fries, and a drink. I didn’t eat it all; but, I will eat some more later. I also have in my fridge some leftover fried chicken breast, mashed potatoes, and broccoli from eating out Friday night I need to eat. When, I was doing some of my cleaning, I found $5.00! There is more cleaning I need to do; but, I got the worst at my bed done. It is still dark and rainy and I am still sleepy. I started getting sleepy last night and I have not begun to shake it off. I got too scared to take my meds. I think there is enough in my system that a few days will not harm me. I have a pole lamp that my mother bought me at Walmart that I need to fix and plug in. When, I do that some of the darkness will be gone. I just wish this little bit of sleepiness would be gone, too. I hate feeling sleepy. The idea about doing a little bit of cleaning at a time from Dreamscape is right on the money and I am taking it to heart. Thank you, Dreamscape. Overall, I am feeling better and my beloved cat is so kind to listen to my rants and raves as long as I don’t get too loud! Thank you all so very much. Who would have ever thought such wonderful people could be found on the internet!


I put this under the wrong post I did. I feel much better now. I did some more cleaning. I even put up my pole lamp; so things are brighter now and I can read my books and the computer! I did have a headache still this afternoon. It is still dark, dreary, and rainy. There are tornado watches, rock slides and everything all around. Sometimes living in an old building spooks me in times like these; but, I am feeling better. When, I get spooked, I like to walk in the breeze to blow out my system. However, when it is dark and stormy like this, I can’t. So, I just have to wait it out. I usually want to be able to move and go as Spirit moves me! However, thanks again for everything. You are my friends!

Yayyyy!! that is so wonderful ! You sounded so down this morning? I am so happy for you. My girlfriend attacked the kitchen today and got it back to normal…it was a mess after I cooked jambalaya and since it was my birthday recently she said she would do the dishes. sweetie. I am glad you have your cat to keep you company !! Yayyy for greykitten !!

Thank you, jukebox. I am actually very nervous about getting the new vehicle. I have been driving the same one for about 13 years; a 99 Ford Escort. I inherited it upon my beloved sister’s passing; as it was her car first. It really ran pretty good for me; but the air conditioner was shot and I live in a warm climate for summer. It wasn’t getting as good gas mileage as it did at first. Maybe, I am nervous about the money thing. I don’t want to eat beans everyday and give up my book hunger. I think I may have silenced my perfume hunger; because, I have found one that I actually like. It will need to be replenished, though and I need clothes and I am kind of redecorating my studio apartment. However, I have this banker who considers himself my financial therapist and will help me to get the best loan for me; and it doesn’t have to be with the bank, itself. Additionally, I was just thinking. I will name this new car. I didn’t name the one I just lost to the tree branch. We will have a viable relationship. As for my beloved cat; she does love me and listen to me when the rest of the universe is too preoccupied to do so. She is my very blessed gift from Spirit. I am so lucky to have her. I almost didn’t get a cat; because of some obnoxiousness on the Humane Society’s part because of previous declawing of previous cats. I told them that I WAS NOT GOING TO DECLAW THIS CAT and they still denied me. I linked up with a lady on Craig’s List who lived at a town about a half hour away. We met at Walmart halfway between where I live and she lives and as they say; the rest is history!!! By the way, she was “free.” I did pay for a subsequent vet visit and her spaying several weeks later. I got one more thing from Craig;s List; a small endtable for $5.00. It is still in my car at the collision repair place which I have to get later this week. I will be without a car by fri and my old car has to be cleaned by fri. I don’t look to being without a car; because I love my freedom; however, I don’t want to rush into buying a car either. Anyway, I have shied away from Craig’s List in the past few months as a lady in a nearby town was murdered because of Craig’s list. I appreciate your sentiments. Maybe, someday, you will get a beautiful cat to get along with your dogs. I still have very much to do on my apartment as I need to make room for the stuff cleaned out of my old car and my apt is rather “clutter and trashy city” Such is the life of those burdened with mental illness. There are good time and bad times; there are good moments and bad moments. This is probably the way with those who think they are “normies” also; but, with the mentally ill it is more severe, more convulated and more debilitating. Have a great night; jukebox. I cant remember eating jumbalaya. Isn’t it creole or Cajun? I am not sure if I’d like it. I like seafood very much; but, I shy away from spicy food. I also crave soup over salad, too.