I am bad, my nephew has serious problems

Ok, i go paranoid around every adrenaline situation here, around every action, around every problem… i am in hell then… and you can guess, that there are problems always… My paranoia is such, that i get some kind of weakness in my body from paranoia, to the point that i believe that everyone hates me or will judge me or beat me and i hide still… My fear can be so big, that its inhuman still… never a hospitalization helped me… i have 10 hospitalizations and i even couldn talk before… now i keep my last treatment and i try with efforts but i am in real hell 9ften still… believe me, this is very painful… :disappointed:
Ok, so now, it looks that my nephew is addicted to steroids and methamphetamines… my family didnt see that for long… i cant act now, neither help cause i cant even go outside around such a problem… my sister told me, that she is desperate… my mother is tired and old and had a cerebral attack 2 weeks ago…
But sometimes, maybe even often i have the guilty conscience folks… it feels like paranoia too… i really cant help my nephew still, but i experience guilt since years in fact… i get crazy with that, my thinking is screwed up…
Does the guilt is a symptom of sz too? Idk if its so bad, cause before i was in total black, concerning all the human relationships… but its painful, especially when its on every day basis… :cold_sweat:
I cant act for my nephew now, i cant fight for him now… but i think, that my family maybe is pissed off by that… :cry: you know what? My father died from a psychosis, he was a violent man too in his life, till total terror… and it wasnt a big loss for us, no matter how it can sound… you cant imagine what he was doing on us… me, i was never like him, but with this dx of mine, i wonder if my family doesnt care if ill die too, if they hate me too… its very hard to live if my family is tired already by me, thats all…
Am in shock… thats what comes from violence yes… my family is all torn and it touches even the grandchildren of this father of mine… :disappointed:
How to continue to live if i have only my family now but they are tired by me already??? How???
And yes, my mother said multiple times, that ill be forever sick and alone, that i wont never work etc etc…

Am i just paranoid, that my family gave up on me? But i think that its the case… but my mother never believed in me, maybe i should say ■■■■ to her in my head ? But i still feel guilt that i am doing it all wrong…
Does the guilt is close to the paranoia?
Pls, someone???

You should tell you sister to report your nephew to the police.

Steroids and meth is a recipe for psychosis. Calum von Moger (a bodybuilder) was also taking both of those and almost died. Once the police get him maybe they can send him to rehab.

He’s not your responsibility.

I hope you’re Ok :cry:, you sound really stressed.

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Oh, thanks for the answer…
I am stressed like that almost every day now. I am in hell, especially when i think, that my mother sees my illness so badly and that she doesn’t believe at all in me… i have only her too, while she probably thinks that I’ll die alone… she even told me to not date anyone, cause nobody needs me like that… :cold_sweat:
Theyve destroyed me… and even the trts couldnt help me, ive tried that… am still taking it though but even a normie would go mad if he was seen as i am seen from mines… thats why i dont want to go into a hospital again, am i wrong???
Ok, ive talked to my sister the whole afternoon… my nephew admitted that he cant stop by himself… he already had psychosis on that i think, once he came crazy at my door and i became paranoid cause he was agitated, i kicked him out and he got a bit mad to me, that i was kicking him out… thats why i feel guilty…
Theyll seek for a solution now, my sister said, that maybe even a drug helping community…
My father was sick, i turned it to be it too, maybe my nephew has a mental problem too… is this a family curse???
Am i really not guilty that i avoid the stressed out family now? I still see them every day, but i get smashed after that later… i still give even… but idk how I’ll live… they dont have hope for me anymore…

I believe honestly, that i was castrated emotionally in my illness… i still blame myself for that, cause my parents destroyed me…
My nephew is now with my sister, i hope that she’ll take some action…
He is really not my responsibility though??
Should i forget a bit?
I am in pain…
Can the guilt cause paranoia or its the opposite?

Are you afraid of your nephew’s anger if you speak up and do something about him? Because there is something about guilt that doesn’t want to change. Like it’s the lesser of some evil.

Ok, am scared that i am read here by some of my family… wont say more… i am not sure, that my family believes in me, i think that not, so its hard…
Yes, i am scared of some people, of the anger of anyone yeap…

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What’s going on with you @Anna1?
You seem paranoid.

Please reach out to a crisis team

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