Human Usage

I’m wondering, what defines people using others? I’ve been accused of using people before online and irl. It always throws me, and makes me wonder what constitutes using other people? Isn’t a person’s utility and value to yourself the basis of a relationship?

Maybe it’s the medication sapping my emotional reserve to near nill, but I don’t understand.

I don’t know,

It kind of depends on the situation.

I guess if you’re trying to benefit from a person without considering their feelings or consequence,

That would be using them.

Or just being manipulative in general.

Its complicated sometimes…


Oh okay, I think I’m good then! I don’t want to hurt anybody, most of the time. And I try not to lie.

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I often try to ask ‘Am I doing this for me, to make myself feel good, or for them.’ @anon54386108 is right. You can manipulate people even by doing things that you think are good for them. You shouldn’t impose your will on other people unless it is absolutely necessary for their own safety.

But it sounds like you think of and consider other people pretty often. The fact that you are asking this sort of implies you are a sensitive and introspective person.

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I think that’s a very mechanical and grim way of viewing relationships. Meaningful relationships should be built on compassion and loyalty.


I once had a fair-weather friend who only came over to play with my musical instruments. I had the good fortune of having generous parents, while my friend didn’t get the things he wanted or needed. He had another friend with a lot of gear, too. Once, while the third friend was away, the second wanted to use his stuff. He was so brazen about it that he climbed in thru a window; breaking and entering. That’s what I call being used by somebody: you have something they want that isn’t yourself. My “friend” used a lot of people as stepping stones to get to where he wanted to be, quite ungratefully.

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