Would you go along if your parents were actively keeping you from leaving the house, can’t have friends over and keeping you from hanging out with anyone at all? I know my dad’s just scared after what happened. But this is incredibly counter-productive. Then he tells me “Just do stuff” do stuff how, by sitting around the house 24/7 does he not understand depression and he has a car and is constantly working, what the heck is wrong with him that he cannot fathom my condition?
I have no idea what you did, but no. I absolutely would not, regardless of the circumstances. But maybe he has a point? I don’t know.
I dont think my dad realizes that he’s mentally abusive…that’s the issue…its veiled protectionism…but its been hurting me for the past 16 years and caused a lot of my “reckless behaviors” though I wouldn’t tell him that and he would never see it that way, but keeping someone locked away in the house doesn’t somehow cure an addiction neither does medicating them out of their mind cure schizophrenia. Apparently society thinks so thats why Im so split between disowning my fam. conflicted and end up leaving at random hours instead of have a healthy balance I should have never even asked him if he thought I could go out and hang out with a friend.
Do you have a therapist you can talk to about these things?
no but I just signed up for the waitlist for a phone-therapist they want me to call back in two weeks to see where I am on the list
That’s great! This sounds like good food for therapy. Hopefully they can help you and your dad communicate better and live well with each other.
I dont live with him. The brainwashing was never very effective. I just want to leave.
I live with my mom and she is exactly like that. I have to hide when I hang out with friends. I am not allowed to have friends. She is against everyone, and I definitely can’t have any friends over. She doesn’t even want me to have a boyfriend.
Do you live on your own?
No I live with my mom, she wont let me have anyone over lately because she’s paranoid. On top of it my workaholic dad is just critical of everything I do and yet tells me he wants me to be productive I cant challenge him with the fact he sold my car/wont help me out financially/and doesn’t want me to leave the house…
I feel you. You sound young though. I am 37 my case is sad.
I guess it’s a pretty common faith for people with sz that we become more dependant on our families to support us financially and that gives them more say about our lives. I know that can be frustrating.
But if any of you guys get direct benefits from the government you might be in a position to move out and rent a place(although that also is a gamble). As long as you are adults and don’t have your parents appointed as guardians you can do what you want to wether your family likes it or not. But at the same time I would try to stay connected and at peace with your family as they can offer a lot of support throughout life.
I dont get any gov. benefits.
Have you looked into it? It can be a long process to get it. (If it is a option in your country)
I am possibly getting 50% disability while I hopefully will be able to work 50%. But it involves a lot of testing. Like now I am currently in a work programme to determine how much I am able to work. This has been going on for a few months. It might get settled this fall.
Maybe talk with your doctor or your local unemployment office to see if there is any way you can secure yourself financially.
I had been trying to get it for two years/and my fam. told me to stop trying to get a job, and then I couldn’t get help from DHHR had my doctor write a letter that I couldn’t feed or clothe myself so I didn’t have to do the ABLE bodied adult stuff. I went through the hearing/final appeal. I was told I could bus tables and they denied it once and for all. I’ve given up on that route. Not sure what else I can do with no financial support from my dad–like I literally had to win at the casino to have money…and now…I spent it all on a laptop…and some vitamins…but whatever.
I would have to see if my mom would pay for transportation to the local employment office. I dont know if anyone helps people without transportation…I cant afford a lyft but my mom could possibly, and then she could say no…I’m basically a mental slave.
Maybe try and explain, at least to your mom, that it’s important for you to feel at least somewhat indepenent and make choices for yourself(in a cautious manner). Maybe you can get the ball rolling. I hope so.
This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.