Schizophrenia.com

How to sort your friends

#1

I had a bit of a psychotic episode last night… (just the all consuming fire again, only I reacted to it and panicked.)

Since I’m having a disorganized day and still feeling a bit like I just got out of a car crash, and I do believe my greatest achievement today will be to put on some pants… (but the jammies are so warm)

I’ve been sitting here pondering… it keeps me calm.

When I was in my onset, I lost a lot of friends and I felt sorry for myself about that. Damn SZ, why me.? But then when I got stable and quit drinking and being a user and abuser… friends came back.

But my sister has been coughing up blood and was in hospital for nearly a week… The stress absorbing and anorexia is out of the bag now…

Yesterday afternoon, one of her “friends” actually pretended not to see her, know her, and pretended to forget where she was. Turned and walked the other way. (we’re on a dead end street into the water so that was a funny thing to see… how do you pull that one off?)

It seems like being any kind of ill will lose you some fake friends.

I personally am happy for this. I hated that “friend” of hers for a long time. (this is the one who WANTS to be a stripper and a prostitute.) But I know for my sis, it’s an eye opener.

Note to self… any illness will help you sort your friends.

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#2

This I could understand. I just wish after the sorting, I still have friends!

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#3

You are sounding so well and I remember you saying your boss likes you. I have a feeling friends will come again. You are too kind to end up alone for long.

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#4

Well, maybe at this stage, I need to better get along with myself first.

This is something i want to better understand. I tried very hard to stay alone and get away from all social life during the psychosis. I do exactly the reverse when in remission, trying really hard to get together with people. After a relapse, which means reversing my behaviors for two more times, it really makes me ponder what it is.

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#5

I totally get this. I had to know myself before I could know others. That’s an old idea isn’t it?

Since I myself was all new to me it took some time to figure me out. I think I’m getting better at that. I know what will set me off, I know what I have to avoid so I feel better around people because I know what I can deal with about them.

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#6

Yeah my friends really showed what they actually thought of me when I was psychotic and when I told them about my diagnosis. Most of them have been supportive and they’re all as smart as me, they’re from that prestigious high school I went to, so they aren’t completely ignorant as to how to deal with the stigma of mental illnesses. In fact, they tried to reassure me that all writers and musicians and artists have schizophrenia and jokingly told me to become a writer. It was a joke, and it was appropriate…they know what paranoid schizophrenia is, I assume. They ask me how my meds are going and remark that I look well, I lift weights so I do look like a healthy person. I feel healthy now but I sure as hell wasn’t until less than 6 months ago when I got on my new meds.

But not every single one of them has been nice about it. One of my closest friends went on a drunken rant about how schizophrenia is no big deal and we dont need meds and we just like to complain. I kicked him out of the house, I don’t like when people share uninformed opinions. He never apologized, he’s quite arrogant, he’s a computer wiz and acts very narcissistic when he is drunk. But he’s taking a break from alcohol and he is not a narcissistic ■■■■■■■ unless he is drunk…I told him he can’t come over with drugs or alcohol.

Some people do harbor some hate for the mentally ill, I think it’s because they are both uninformed about mental illnesses and also jealous of the sympathy some people show us.

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#7

You are ahead of me in many ways. I have a late onset, but I showed early symptoms in executive functionings for more than a decade prior to my first psychotic experience. I have a lot about myself I do not understand. The new self is even more for me to understand. At present, I think I’m not managing myself good enough. I only know that personal management precedes interpersonal management. The current task is getting along with myself.

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#8

I think your managing yourself great. There is no way the old self and the new self can compete with each other. It’s just a different book on the topic, that’s all. Don’t judge the new you by old you standards. Your alive, working, making your Mom happy.

You’ll get ever better from here.

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#9

I think education has a lot to with reaction. Chipping away that huge block of misinformation is going to take some time. But I have a feeling, we’ll get there. I don’t want to assume it’s like this everywhere, but here where I am, the people who are well informed or at least willing to learn out number the closed minded people.

I’m glad you kicked that computer guy out. If he’s good sober and that far off drunk, he’s going through something himself eh?

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#10

Yeah he had just broken up with his girlfriend (who he wanted to marry) and he dropped out of school and had to move back in with his parents and go to the local university. But he shouldn’t have taken it out on me so I didnt let him.

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#11

Boundaries my friend… all good boundaries. This is a lesson I am still learning…

Your ahead of me on that one… :thumbsup:

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#12

my own mother , when i was a kid, walked right passed me in town and did not acknowledge me , i was16 and living at home.
then on many different occasions she would say " did anyone see you coming into the house ? ".
so your sis is better to get rid off those type of friends…sorry got to go it 's the hit man i hired to take out my evil mother .
take care

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#13

I only have a few friends, and they all know of my diagnosis, except for one who knows that I’ve been in a mental hospital. I want to make more friends, but that’s hard for me, because where would I meet them? At school, most everyone is going to be much younger than I am, and I don’t really go out much. I guess I figure when I am done with school and am working, hopefully, I will make friends there.

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#14

Once alcohol was removed from the equation my ‘friends’ left in flocks and only a handful were left. Then I took away weed and more left. I guess I’m only fun to hang out with via facebook to them. But I still have several friends that geniuinely want to hang out with me. Three know my diagnosis and the others probably wouldn’t care even if I told them. I’m sure they wonder why I went from belligerently insane to seemingly normal yet quiet. Haha oh well if that conversation comes up ill have it but I’m glad all those fake folks are out of my life now. Finally I know when someone calls me and says hey let’s hang out, I know its ME they want to see not booze or weed. Makes a person feel good. And I’m sorry about your sister, but I’m glad things are in the open now. Holding things like that in never helped anybody. And hopefully she realizes that the people that she is left with are 100 times more valuable than the people that walked out on her. But you’re a good brother so I’m sure you’ve told her that stuff :slight_smile:

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#15

My old friends from school still got em’. We don’t hang out but the Ish we been through is a memory that will never change. I don’t need a friend that just borrows my Ish and uses me. That’s not the definition of friend.

What are friends suppose to do together? I’m not with all that gossip. Your either a fishing buddy or a hunting buddy. Or a bud connoisseur. There’s been potential friends I just couldn’t keep it real with. And it ain’t my fault. Blame it on the sz. SZ sorts out friends an amazing thing it does.

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#16

Ouch for your sister. Give her a big hug from me. This person showed their true colors and is no friend. Tell sis to look at this way. There is now room in her life for a real friend. One that will not use her or drag her down. Sometimes you have to let go of the old to make room for the new.

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#17

This is sort of an odd space to be in. The “friends” that she’s loosing are all the ones I hate. The ones who call her a goodie two shoe and just use and abuse. She has some broken friends who I think would genuinely appreciate her help. These “fake friends” aren’t those…

I know these people mean something to her. I know she puts herself out there for people. So she is sad about this, but I am SO happy about this.

It’s like when she was crying on my shoulder for breaking up with a cad of a boyfriend. She was sad but I was so happy to see her get that guy out of her life. I don’t always do such a good job hiding my joy when these fake friends fall away.

Once I was so happy when she was sad… I actually blamed my joy on my SZ… (inappropriate reaction.) thought happy dancing for getting an adult heroin user out of her life is an appropriate reaction.

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