I keep trying to get help for psychosis again and again over the years but doctors never believe me. Ever. I think it’s because I have a VERY SMALL amount of insight and they take that as an excuse to say I’m making things up and just need to “change my way of thinking” - something I was told last week after explaining every different reality I’m currently having to manage
I’m very stubborn about self advocacy and refuse to pretend that I’m not a human being who deserves to be listened to. But I know doctors are also cowards who can’t handle when patients know literally anything about themselves
So I’m thinking about a combined approach - saying my partner and family has pushed me to get help and pointed out some delusions, then explain my hallucinations and try to use very basic language so as to not scare away the doctor who’s spend 20+ years of her goddamn life choosing to care for people and listen to them as her job. Yeah I don’t get it either. But I know I have to do it
If anyone has any suggestions on how to have drs take you more seriously please let me know because honestly if I have another doctor look me in the eye while I’m in hell and tell me it’s my fault I’m gonna get up and start smashing ■■■■ around the office and see if she still doesn’t believe I’m batshit
My doctors are actually quite supportive of me and give me some say in my treatment, which I appreciate. It helps that they know I do follow their guidance and that I don’t conceal symptoms from them.
Are you projecting this hostility as openly towards your doctors in their presence? If you are, they’ll do the minimum they need to and move onto the next patient as quickly as possible. Doctors are people too, and they don’t like to be around hostile or abusive patients if they don’t need to be. Or for any longer than they need to be.
Unfortunately my city is extremely conservative and the doctors here have consistently medically abused and/or neglected me, including this doctor. Our mental health system is a wreck
And part of my problem is that I don’t project hostility if that makes sense - I try very very hard to be compliant, patient, and passive, because that’s the only way I’ve survived thus far… But I’m sick of it and I want to be treated fairly, which is why I am feeling extremely frustrated right now
To be clear I’ve been compliant and passive and 100% honest and done what they told me my whole life and it has still gotten me abused and neglected. I tell them calmly and clearly what I’m experiencing and BECAUSE I practice and am calm because I don’t want them to hurt me they think I’m not “really” unwell because I can pretend for very short periods if I really have to
Quick update: appointment went well and I was listened to, I’ll get a call tomorrow from a mental health service. She checked and the lady from the hospital never even sent a referral like she told me. I’m desperately hoping my treatment team is decent