Schizophrenia.com

How to lose friends and alienate people

I think I’m rather good at this… being affable usually comes from a conscious state which is unfortunate because I feel I am on auto-pilot 80% of the time. It takes focus and energy to stay present and I think for the most part people think I am either dumb or rude. These aren’t qualities I desire or wish to be known for, and I feel horrible that people see me this way.

Does anyone else feel this way? That their auto pilot is drunk and obnoxious? Or am I making too much of something that is out of my hands?

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I think one of my defense mechanisisms I built naturally over time whether good or bad is to be kind of sarcastic and even a little rude on purpose and able to defend my actions instead of accidently being rude or acting dumb and being dumfounded and not reacting the way I would like because people reactions caught me off guard

I’m very good at analyzing what to say and do in social situations. I’m especially good at it AFTER I’ve put my foot in my mouth and offended someone.

(sigh)

Pixel.

I can remember being a preteen who was extremely rude. once, when I was with by brother at a baseball card convention, an elder man came by to show us a card of his brother who played in the pros. I remember thinking that he was lying and said “no, you don’t even have a brother.” to this day, it makes me real sad to think about it and just how terrible he must’ve felt. Perhaps even worse in that the remark came from a child.

Sometimes I think I became dispositioned to sz because I was such a horrible person and was/is a wakeup call to get my act together. I still have plenty of foot in mouth moments, ones I am desperately trying to correct.

I was rude as a preteen, too. It goes with the insecurity of that age. Don’t feel guilty - that lingering guilt is worse than the original crime. I find the best thing to do when I’ve socially embarrassed myself is to stay right in the conversation and don’t try to hide or back out.

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Yeah I have those skills…to chase away people.
The only type that doesn’t run away is narcissistic mean and selfish ones because they know how to play with borderline.

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I am very much the way you describe. When I’m not careful I make lots of social mistakes. I guess I’m being thoughtless, but I never mean anything bad when I commit a gaffe. I imagine that social awkwardness is a characteristic of a lot of schizophrenics.

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When I get tired and the auto pilot kicks in… I’m not very good with social situations either. My auto pilot isn’t very good with interaction at times. I have wandered off… away from people when they are talking to me.

I’ve been a bit too blunt with people when they don’t need it. I try keep my manners in line. But it doesn’t always work. The more tired and in my head it get… the worse I get with interactions.

All I can do is apologize later… and not let it get to me… and work on being better next time.

Good luck to us all… :v:

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