How to know whether I understand what happens around me?

How to know, If I am not having delusions or hallucinations at the moment?
I start to not understand whether I am stable.
Maybe I am delusional non stop?
I swear, IDK.
Everyday everything seems different. IDK to whom to trust. I don’t know if I can trust my senses.
I feel like I have very small insight on what happens around me.
From what I wrote here, do I seem… stable? With insight? Do I seem normal overall while I communicate on forum?
I am questioning because I thought it would be so easy to find a job, but it’s not. Also, because I am so paranoid during some moments, that everyone around me seems like liars. I don’t even know, if my thoughts are clear, and if they make any sense.
I get this confusion non stop… i question my senses 24/7

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I have no idea, I just go with the flow.

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Sounds easy,
But for me it doesn’t work like that. I want to know how much insight I have, but everytime when i ask someone about my insight, I get an answer"everything is alright "
But it also seems like a lie…

I am the same hun

Everyone seems dead chatty and coherent when i see people wheras my mind is struggling foggy and racing

I am not just saying this, it is strange how you sound exactly like me in this respect

I don’t have any answers

Just were mentally ill

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@Ducky seems we’re on the same road… I know I worry too much, and it’s ain’t healthy.

But my future is coming, I don’t even know if I will have a job… I have so much fear…

It’s freaking sad. I want answers now, but eeevery doctor has a different opinion about me. IDK if I will be able to live.

And your reply is relaxing in a certain way… thanks a lot

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Maybe I am really manic.

I can’t sit still right now.
It seems my life is going nowhere

I understand you are anxious about your future

Best thing is apply for benefits if your too sick to work

I am constantly unable to work and i receive money to live on. My husband looks after me

I am unwell like you and its difficult to manage symptoms

I have personality disorder as well as sz and find im anxious and paranoid all time nearly

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Have you got a calming routine or med you can take

Talk to someone that would be good

I think youd know about it if you were manic because youd be extreme off the scale. I doubt you could write like this if you were manic?

Are you diagnosed with bipolar or sza bipolar?

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IDK if I am too sick.
My pdoc said I could possibly even drive…
But I feel in some way I have zero skills to work.
Okay, overall I am not sure whether I am sick or have not enough skills.
My doctor is very positive about me, I also study right now at the university. It means I am capable of doing things.
But in work… I have very small experience of working, but it was quite unsucesfull.
Also my concentration at work is lower, I quess because of stress I had there.

And thanks… I wrote my pdoc. And I will took half of ablify pill. Maybe I will calm down a bit.

I am currently diagnosed with pseudoneurotic SZ. So its SZ with OCD and anxiety.
But my first diagnozis was SZA. So I am not sure whether I have mania or no

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So youve never been diagnosed with bipolar then , never been manic ?

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You can actually do a hell of a lot more than i can, we are completely different

I wish you well anyway

With only bipolar - no.
IDK if I had mania. There are times when I am wayyy too talkative and overactive.
But some symptoms really not describe me.

Youd know if youd ever been manic

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wish you all the best too… I hope we both will find some calmness. And feel better… And that we will stop feeling so confused

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I dont think everything you mention is a symptom of psychosis/schizophrenia. You are a young women that lives in hectic times. Its normal to be insecure about the future, or have mood fluctuations. Try taking it one step at a time

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Probably yes… times are horrible. Most of us are in one way or another confused.
Just at some moments I totally lose insight whether I am ill or no. Just during 5 minutes I realised I could be faking being ill from 2016. Then I realised another thing - probably it’s ain’t truth because how the hell did I pretended it to doctors?
And etc etc. I overthink way too much.

I think that you can have a little faith in your own mind, people do recover and the brain has neuroplasticity.

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There are so many different aspects and symptoms associated with psychotic/ psychosis events, that diagnosis unfortunately can take some time and diligent effort between you and your doctor’s. I’ve been suffering with my illness for the last 3 years. Very uneducated About it, I have tried to self manage and have consequently put myself in a situation where I need in patient treatment. My diagnosis/symptoms these last three years has evolved/ changed, i guess you could call them stages. They ebb and flow, usually dependent on situational circumstances. The best advice I would like to share with you is being very communicative and honest with your doctor and more importantly, yourself about what your experiencing. It’s not worth the suffering alone. Best wishes for you.

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That’s a very positive attitude.
My PDOC repeats the same, that my brain still can recover.
:slight_smile:

I read in schizophrenia survival guide that some people are aware of their illness and some not they don’t believe they are ill, I think you are the first one who’s aware

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