I’m often quiet and passive in group. I can talk to people who are kinder to me. Some people just ignore me even if I talk to them. What can I do to survive in the social world?
I fake emotions with people I don’t know or bigger crowds…smile try to make eye contact sometimes… If your shy try to bring up subjects the other person likes so they do most of the talking … Just chuckle at their jokes and nod and say little things to let them know your paying attention… People like to talk …just let them and try to add things when you can…they will be happy with the encounter…
My social behavior is catastrophically bad. I can’t control it. I have to laugh about it, because if I didn’t I would cry.
I try to smile a lot, even when I don’t talk. I try to listen to the person and, sometimes, ask questions about what they’re saying (I’m trying to do it quickly, because sometimes I take some time to make the question). They say an open question is better than a closed one. For example: “What did you do on holidays?” is better than “Have gone to the beach on holidays?”.
pretty much just act fake
I worked at a call center for 4 years during college in 1990s. We were told to smile as the customers could hear it on the call…I was introvert in miserable high school situation as the gangs came into school but after socializing professionally at events & workshops, I actually enjoy the contact with the kind normals. So, after faking it a while, it is just ‘normal’ to me and my energy just pushes me through some challenging spots sometimes… I searched around fields of social services, tech, graphic design and marketing/writing and discovered the best behaved people were the sales folks in marketing. It pays half of tech but there is little discrimination or harassment. Some of the tech folks are really disturbed personality disorder and will mistreat people for discrimination/stigma so some tech companies do not work with ‘all’ customers well & respect all customers. See what you think…Just dress the part, keep quiet, take notes if appropriate, smile, make eye contact and listen hard. You can meet some good ones sometimes but some duds other times but you do get to know who is who in local workplace community at the least.
Gosh, wanted to add bit of information from social worker book I read - “Bridges out of Poverty”. Poor people have a story, professionals do not discuss the baggage/failures/victimizations. Professionals do make relationships with clients and some get to know their lives well, but mental care/worries aloud (aka paranoia) are best NEVER discussed.
First, anyone that ignores you while you’re talking to them is someone you don’t want to waste your time with.
Work on being a good listener. It’s not as easy as it may seem.
My parents always tell me to smile as much as possible. So I would say try to smile if you can. It helps.
I don’t have any advice because I think humans are antisocial and only get together when they need someone for something.
Yeah, they get together when they need sex.
No humans are social creatures.
I am not the most social person but I try to make eye contact and have been trying with small talk.
I practice my social skills with my therapist and case manager.
Hey, @Wave! How are your social skills practice?
I asked for social skills training to my therapist, but I didn’t find it effective.
No it’s not something we work on together.
I will use our time together as practice.
It’s nothing official
Being sociable is forgetting shitt.
I got it.
I want to improve my social skills but I can’t find a worthwhile theory for it and neither my therapist found it. I asked her for social skills training and she brought to the session a card game for kids. She had good intentions (she’s a great therapist) but I found the social training skills effectively low. Maybe it’s because we will evolve our social skills by just talking and interacting with other people.
good social behaviors can help one survive in society.
I think one can be sent down the wrong roads, growing up in a family that is lacking in social skills, I know for myself, it was the case. Yes we become better through the live and learn, but life is short and if you never connect with the right people, you may never succeed.
I think I get it. If someone try to connect with a rude person and insist on it, he/she is losing his/her time.
An essential part of socializing is using the person’s first name. Thus when you meet someone for the first time you’ll need to get that person’s first name immediately.
It’s much easier to remember faces than names, but mnemonics (a technique to improve memory) makes it fairly easy to remember names. Let’s say you meet two men, and the first man’s name is Peter. Take a good look at Peter and call him Peter Pan (in your head of course)…The other man’s name is Walter. Take a good look at Walter and call him Walter Cronkite.
Using first names personalizes the experience.