How to go into a specific relationship without the fear of being used

Glad i’m not the only one who’s noticed this.

Hahaha I couldnt help it

Ok. Maybe I am misremembering some stuff or not seeing the complete picture. But I know how you have posted that you are always afraid that men are going to like your sister more than you. The last guy you got rid of because he was too good for you basically in your eyes, no? Too handsome or something?

Like I said, I don’t know the guy, but I do know that some of what you have expressed seem to be fears that you’re not good enough or that others are too good for you, or your sister is better or whatever. I think this is going to interfere with your “gut” and not make it a reliable source for making decisions.

He could well be using you for all I know…but cutting him out because of some gut suspicion could be ending something that could be good. I say just take the chance and let things evolve. You will find out eventually.

You dont want to cut something short just because of your “gut”.

Thats my opinion.

The issue is that those gut feelings are interfering with my peace of mind.

When we decide to end it, I do feel low BUT at least I feel relaxed and not stressed. I’m worried about how it could impact my mental health etc. If I continue.

Maybe I just need to learn to move on like find a strategy.

I’m not sure though.

Maybe if I found a way to think about this better I will not be stressing with him.

And yes unfortunately my sister thoughts do play into this. He does find her attractive. For starters.

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You are intrusive and ask the wrong questions. Then, it’s his fault.


I’ve got my first therapy session on sat. So that ought to help thou this has been useful so far too though thankyou guys

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He asks me the same questions.

It’s how we both are

It’s fair

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Why is that intrusive though

BTW this guy is a lovely guy. He is not perfect but nor am I.

I don’t know if my fears are true.

Don’t want to make him out to look like Satan. Lol

Wow I’m allowed to type Satan :smiling_imp:

Problem is that I dont know how to change my gut feeling. Maybe in therapy on sat I should just ask them to help me how to move on and prepare for a healthier relationship or if I should be single for life

All my 3 relationships have had their positives. Just the first 2 the negatives outweighed continuing the relationship obviously

I think you really like this guy. Talk with your therapist about it to get an unbiased opinion. Go from there. I hope things work out in the best way for you.

I am learning how not to attach to an outcome and it is helping me in my current situation. We talk things out and are open with each other. Communication is important, there are no right or wrong questions.


Yes thanks Luna.

I actually just texted him too saying Saturday therapy day, will be the final decider.

I don’t want to keep changing my mind on him back n forth.

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I guess you like avocado’s :slight_smile:

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Lol yes I do :avocado::avocado::avocado: … I thought my friend asked me if I wanted to be an avocado…he said the spanish word for lawyer and I misheard and thought he said avocado… and I said yes I am an avocado …lol

Yeah I get that. Sometimes we have to just go with things if it makes us happy and try not to worry too much about what will happen. Might lead to unexpected places or it might not, but at least you would have tried.

Do what you feel is right or best for your mentally and emotionally.


Follow your head and heart @Zoe
Go with the flow and your desires


I would just enjoy his company. If you think his behavior is inappropriate, compared to what you expect, I would just not get that close.

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I think this will really help you work through some things.

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