How to go into a specific relationship without the fear of being used

I fancy this guy.

But I’m scared he likes another woman and is just using me to improve his English, company, and kissing sex, but thinking of her.

Then when his English is fluent and he has a better job, he will find another woman and go back to his home country with her or that girl he fancies will split up with her partner and go to him. Because he has changed.

How to not give a f u c k IF I am being used and still enjoy the relationship.

I haven’t decided yet if I should be in it. I mean this is just a fear it’s not like he told me this lol.

Oh I might be in love with him and there’s a chance he might be with me cos he says so.

But he’s lied to me b4 about dating women, and on the dating app he lied about drinking alcohol to appear normal.

So… Idk…

All I know is he is cute and when we end it I feel not good. Lol.

I would argue that your fear of getting used is an attachment. You could just choose to be with him regardless and it sounds like you are thinking about it!

How long have you known him?

Since February 2023.

What do you mean that the fear of getting used is an attachment. You sound buddhist again lol.

Do you mean I should just accept this possibility and accept it as a possible part of him, ie love him for who he is.

They say joy is immense acceptance I don’t know if this is one example

All I know is I feel like I need him.

Maybe I should focus on that


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Yes. With no expectations other than honesty and openness. Tell him that

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Okay thankyou FreeLunch for the suggestion. I will think about it and take appropriate action.

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Yes it is true if he can be honest about that, it does help I suppose.

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Especially because I’m not really necessarily looking for a life long romantic relationship with him anyway for personal reasons

Though he knows about that. Including the reasons.

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I think we are built to relate. We are social creatures. This disease isolates us. Any chance you have at some decent nookie should be taken.

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I don’t know if he’s using you are not. I don’t know him and don’t kno9w his behavior towards you.

But I’m gonna be totally honest here. You seem to ditch a lot of men because of your own insecurities and fears. And because of past posts you have made, this makes me wonder if this isn’t in your head because of your own insecurities and fears that all men are incapable of liking you for you, without ulterior motives.

This was my very first though, when I saw your post. I can’t say for sure hes not using you for one reason or another, but this seems to be an apparent theme in almost every relationship you get into.

Just my thoughts. I think there is a decent chance its in your head.


I’ve been in 3 relationship before this one. First guy, lied to me about another girl whom he was seeing in a more serious capacity. So he was just using me as a side dish.

2nd guy used me for sex and money and company. He did not respect me so that’s how I know.

3rd guy was fine.

Now this is the 4th guy.

Some ppl like using me from my experience so I shut ppl out easily if I get a strong bad gut feeling and some red flags.

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What’s wrong with beeing his sugar mama? :rofl:

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I buy stuff for the girl I’m seeing. I enjoy it
And I have trouble buying things for myself

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I just so desperately fancy him. Idk


Do it! Omg you want to

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:rofl: :money_mouth_face: :see_no_evil:



Lol I’m perfectly in control


I did buy her a phone

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