I just came from the PhD defense of an acquaintance and feel like absolute ■■■■. She had a very productive PhD, has a lot of friends, is married. I on the other hand am most likely dropping out, have maybe 3-4 friends, feel very socially unskilled, feel depressed a lot of the time, feel way less intelligent than her, have little interest in most things. I’m constantly torn between just wanting to accept my lot in life as inferior and wanting to better myself. Anyone have any advice? I started lamictal recently for bipolar depression and I think it’s helped, but not enough. I have a new job I’m starting soon which I’m excited about but also scared I’ll underperform.
I feel this a lot. What I usually do in this type of situation is remind myself that I deal with things most people can’t even imagine. My disability may limit me from the astronomical success that some neurotypical people achieve, but just being alive and where I am, even if it’s not where I’d like to be, is a huge success in and of itself and I should be proud of myself for getting this far. It’s all about putting things into perspective in my opinion.
I found out that these different traits we have might seem to slow you down but becomes a great trait that no one will ever see. you have more skills than regular people do not know or can match. you just have to turn and see and create something others won’t even think of because they do not have the same view as you. there’s always a positive side.
(Also I use first person not to make this about me but so as to not push advice on you that you may not be comfortable or agree with. Something I learned in group therapy)
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