Do you feel you’re better off without
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I haven’t had nor wanted a relationship since I was diagnosed. So I have no idea. But I do daydream about having a relationship however I’d never pursue one in actuality.
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Always happier in a relationship for me
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My relationship hopes have faded since my divorce.
I won’t get intimate with another human being ever again.
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Depends on the situation I guess.
I think you are young @anon80629714 so it is probably easier to get into the habit of a relationship for you if you meet someone. I’m mid 40s and have been on match.com for months without a bite!
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It really depends on the relationship. My co-person and I work fantastically together, but our courtship was long and she was incredibly patient with the amount of distance and space I demanded. She likens it to taming a feral cat.
In general, though, relationships are very destabilizing for me. I rely too much on and assign too much of my stability to the other person, and so I spin out of control quickly.
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I do have to admit that I rely on my husband too much. I could do more if I had to. For example I could handle my pdoc appointments alone, but he wants to go so… Sometimes I do things alone for a taste of independence but I always miss him terribly. Life’s just better with him.
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I’d say it depends on the person in your relationship, that itself can be the problem, or the help needed for a better life.
I got lucky on my second marriage, it makes all the difference in the world in feeling better and being able to function more.
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Relationships are like jobs. If you know what your looking for and what matches you, it will help going in. If you let the relationship set the terms you will end up used and exhausted. Flexibility helps too.
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relationships can give you something meaningful to nurture and give hope for a potential future. At least it did for me. It may become the making of recovery, but it isn’t its end. We ought to be open and appreciate those relationships because they are like a chance, albeit a small one, of recovery. Like a gentle breeze it can revive us.
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My relationship with my husband has been very difficult, and I look back and know that it was much easier to remain stable when I was alone. However, being difficult doesn’t mean it’s bad. Being married has also taught me a lot about love and trust and has been worth the difficulties for me.
Not being in a relationship allows you to focus on yourself and maintain recovery as a priority. Being in a relationship forces you to include the other person in your daily considerations,and that’s difficult.
I’ve been married for almost four years now. It has thrown me off in many ways, but I feel myself beginning to settle and start to balance again.
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If I weren’t married, I doubt I’d ever leave the house and sit holed up like a (more) of a recluse than I already am.
Being married made me extend my 4 walls sometimes by nature (I wanted to) and most times by force (me kicking and screaming the whole nine yards), but I can’t imagine just how small my world would have shrunk if I had remained single.
-It would have literally been life or death.
Since my divorce 31 years ago, I have not wanted to marry anyone ever again. Since my last relationship ended about nine years ago, I have not wanted to carry on another affair since. Nor will I ever.
I’d suggest that relationships can aid in recovery. Maintaining relationships through periods of illness is an important thing. It helps focus. It helps to be somewhat normal. For me…having to get out into the world and talk to people does wonders. It’s not for everyone but it’s rewarding if your mentally ill. I think language and thinking work together in getting well…talking to people forces you to think in beneficial ways…that is my take on it.
It’s well worthwhile trying to maintain relationships. Lonliness is no fun!