just wondering
tell you something about me
i ask myself again and again and forever
why i spent 9 years at 5 years college without a clear answer
is there any other choice for me other than finishing the college
why i took medications and still suffer a variety of horrible symptoms !!!
why some doctors refused to give me any medication !!!
and only listen to me telling my symptoms
can any tell me about the nature of this illness he knew about it ?
why i was taking medications but still failing every year i m on in the college
voices was telling me you will fail …i fail …
they r like "devil god "
they keep telling me you are not ill
i hv no choice othe than believing them
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I wouldn’t put much stock in voices. They’re often little liars and wrong.
Failing school is probably related to cognitive defects. That’s a result of the schizophrenia.
Doctors don’t fully understand how anti psychotics work but they do.
I was reading a book at my library about neuroscience and sz, and a lot of modern researchers think that the answers lie in the flagella, as opposed to the neurons.
Take care.
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well, what was your childhood like?
mine was good, normal, average.
they’re probably not telling us the nature of this illness
because they don’t really know.
even though when I got paid for a study,
they took blood every visit.
I never even got follow-up on that.
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I missed out on a great college experience too. I went to a prestigious university music school and was too mentally ill to do well enough. No one ever encouraged me to go try again. I would have loved knowing my fellow musician classmates. They had class. Now I live in another state and there is the number 1 music college here but the commute would tire me out. It’s sad, but I’ve never given it a ton of thought. I was a little too uneducated to go there at the time. I got my mandolin in the mail today and it made me happy. I had been hopeless for about three days. Now I’m on a manic high, and it’s about 2 a.m. here.
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