I guess I am onmy way to recovery. the problem is that the sex misses to me I guess :/… and I am still too closed in my head like shell. its not perfect for this… how I am gonna get through this? its hard…I am worried that ill gonna die…
Back when I was having the hallucinations of sexual abuse, when they stopped I was “addicted” in a way too to how good the sensations could feel. It kept me up several nights. For a long time I had no outlet for my sexuality after that (I’m talking several years with 0 outlet) because I never wanted to participate in anything sexual ever again after what had happened. Then I discovered masturbation (sorry for tmi guys ) and it basically changed my life in that area. You will stop craving sex over time as you realize you can take care of yourself.
yeah, I need to masturbate too-sorry for that yes… but its not enough… am I gonna to die because I am so closed like shell to others? the life understands sex as well, you can go nuts if you don’t do it and I am still too depressed for it etc… I barely leave my bed still… one month and 10 days that I am on my meds again…
what means outlet anna? a partner you mean?
Outlet as in any way to get out those sexual urges. So yes a partner or masturbation. I used to not know how to masturbate but it also use to set off my psychosis because I would feel like the demons were watching me and it would remind me of the abuse. But now I’m good!
In the beginning you may feel like you’ll “die” without sex. Give it a couple of weeks and your brain will start to learn it doesn’t get sex all the time. It will get easier, but the first couple weeks will be hard! Use that willpower! You deserve to have sex with men that love you and care for you, not scumbags on the internet who want to use you!
ok… maybe sport can help me too. I have a home bicycle but I am still too lazy for it…I got so deep in this illness, ■■■■… I am glad you are doing better anna, I guess like me you ve been a lot through also. take care, kisses
I’m pretty content with porn and masturbation. I don’t have a high sex drive anyway.
I have had almost no sexual outlet for 6 months now, it was hard at first, but after a while you adjust…hell I don’t even masturbate anymore. Well not often anyway, to be honest maybe once or twice a month?
Since I was 5, I was having sexual thoughts about two men having sex (at that age, I had no idea how two men did it, so I fantasizes about men “sword fighting”)
At 18, I felt very attracted to this guy (the first guy I ever liked). We had a sexual experience. I was realizing how boring and, not unpleasant, but not pleasant either, it was.
Then at 22, I got desperate, had sex with a stranger. Had fun, but it didn’t feel too good.
Then shortly later, I fell in love with this guy, we did sexual things for a month+ and attempted sex later. So did not like it!
I’m a gay male in my head: I think about sex all the time, and FEEL like I want it. But when it comes down to it, I hate it
TMI? – I can masturbate every day to gay porn. When I have sex, the next few months, masturbating feels so unenjoyable. So at 22, when I lost my virginity, everything changed (no improvement and I’m 25 now).
I’ve only had sex twice in the last like 5 years… I can’t even remember… I’ve been close with girls a few times and then got rejected because I was moving to fast and it ruined their opinions of me… The best times I’ve had with a woman recently were only borderline sexual and they were some of the most enjoyable encounters I’ve had in my life.
I mean I try to purge my mind of the existence of sex. I do pretty well at it too. There is so much more to life than sex. So much more to the self. That sex thing is just some crazy infrequent caveat of human existence… all the same… make it your only desire and you’re going to wind up depressed.
I used to freak out about not having a partner and this often lead me back to my on and off again girlfriend of my late 20’s. Some whacked out which of a therapist gave me some sick complex about not having a partner (not preferring hook ups to flings or relationships really) This was pushed as the defacto accept it or not brainwash at this “neurodevelopment center” soon to go out of existence.
Thing is I was going so crazy at the time that I was often a completely confused jerk to be polite to my girlfriend when I took the train to spend the weekend with her. Now I’m just alone, it’s been years other than having briefly dated some girl recently, I have no one and I don’t really do the “hook up with random people thing” I mean I have, not random people, but these have always lead to relationships.
Anyway, I feel like not being sexually active is a huge taboo among a thousand taboos I lived my life oblivious to in our societies. I feel like being a guy it’s viewed more negatively, like women can get away with sex toys, guy has some kind of this- immediate pervert. I don’t know, I’m beginning to feel like even being different in some way is some sort of crime and I don’t even mean different sexually, just completely off topic.
If lack of sex caused death, there would be a mass extinction of MMORPG players, and yet we still exist by the millions, so don’t worry.
Like @Anna said just make love to yourself, figure out what you like, enjoy.
ok azley I see… for me, the sex was very sporadic also…
fine turnip, i hope I wont die because of the lack of it wow… maybe I say some dumb things here but I am so ill right now.
keep going