How does one stretch one's bounderies of tolerance?

Because I am very intolerant of others and I am the one suffering, not they.

Important question, I think CBT will be helpful in perspective and enable you to use some techniques to help stretch the quality of relations and give you more space to build on relations with the general population.

I have very soft boundries it means im gullible and people can take advantage of me easily the dali lahmer would say that your enemy is really your teacher cause they teach you practise of tolerance.
so basically its good when somwone pisses you off because you get more practise dealing with it.

yeah best to try and be tolerant and not intolerant.

but im not very good at it either haha

Probably best to start with small transgressions…
Trivial matters usually have small consequences and don’t need a big response from you.

People are often ignorant… we should expect it and we shouldn’t let it surprise us.

Also it often helps to not always totally express our emotions, especially if we are complaining or blaming others. Expressing anger is done through muscular actions: frowning, glaring, yelling, hitting others etc… Whether we believe it or not we usually have pretty good control over our voluntary muscles if we pay close enough attention to them. Certain nerves create impulses to express anger, but other nerves can be trained to suppress the expression of that anger by preventing our muscles from carrying out the aggressive action.

There are no irresistible impulses if you can maintain good control over how you use muscles. Not carrying out an impulse causes some tension in the short term, but in the long run you establish discipline and self control.

Self control is pretty much figuring out which of our impulses are ok to express and which ones have to be resisted and not expressed. That applies to addictions and other bad habits too.

A shift in perspective sometimes works too… seeing the other person’s side of the story etc…

It also helps to be consciously aware of other people’s emotional states… If they are angry it’s more likely that we will become angry too if we are not aware of it and just react in habitual reflexive ways. It even helps to slow down our responses… talk more slowly, move more slowly.