How do you talk to your doctor(s) about your symptoms

This is long winded like the majority of my posts so if you’re sick of my shiit I’m wondering how you talk to your doctors about your symptoms (specifically hallucinations and delusions)

Anyways.

I find it really hard lately talking to my doctors. One I really like but he’s just my GP and the poor guy is so busy all the time I just don’t want to bother him.

My pdoc and I don’t get along. I haven’t seen him much, and have a hard time trusting him.

Once I was trying to tell him about the things I was seeing. And he (cut me off completely) said that he thought I was experiencing ‘micro hallucinations’ and not true psychosis.

Which is a piss off because every other professional I’ve talked to says I do? And this isn’t new? I had my first (documented) psychotic episode 7 years ago. And now I just feel so dumb bringing those things up. I feel like he doesn’t believe me.

Lately I’ve missed quite a few appointments because I didn’t want to talk to my doctors. I have such a hard time explaining what I’m experiencing.

Especially to my Pdoc. I have so much stuff to discuss all month then once I come in I become mute and can’t talk and start crying. It’s pathetic.

The worst thing is I have to go back to see my Pdoc to get special authority to get my medications paid for. I honestly just want to stop taking my medications and stop going to see my doctors.

Then at least if I get sick I would go to the hospital. In my (multiple) experiences I have gotten much better support/understanding being at my worst at a hospital vs going to psych appointments where it feels like I have to ‘prove’ that I’m sick.

Also, there’s the thing with delusions. How do you bring that up? I have ideas I know are strange. I’ve been able to also identify a lot of my delusional ideas (this forum is helpful for that)

However I haven’t been able to talk about them ever. Because I’m worried it’s stupid or scared it’s true. I’ve had two health care professionals confirm delusions of mine. A literal certified doctor said that I could very well be experiencing visions of my past lives.

Also my Pdoc seems very convinced that if somebody is experiencing psychosis, (even if that person has dealt with it for a long time) they must have zero insight. Which is (bullshit). At least for me.

Of course at my worst I cannot differentiate between what’s real and what isn’t. But for the majority of the time, I know what’s going on is just ‘in my head’ (sorry for saying that I hate that phrase but dunno what else to say)

I’m not dumb. I know the glowing neon animals I see aren’t really there. I know it’s stupid of me to think I am everyone in the world, or I can control the weather, or there is secret cameras filming a documentary about my life 24/7.

I know it’s stupid. But it still scares the (fuck) out of me.

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Take notes of what you are experiencing throughout the month. Then you’ll have them handy for your next Pdoc appointment…to stop you from seizing up and saying nothing when you meet him.

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Guys u are still awake…

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@far_cry0 I’ve been up all night long.

@valiumprincess I feel really bad for you. I think it is time for you to go shopping for a more knowledgeable pdoc. The one you have doesn’t have much knowledge about the nature of sz/sza or psychosis.

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Thank you :heart: I do want to see another Pdoc however I just switched to this one from another bad Pdoc.

It was really hard to get a switch and my doctor said they rarely do that where I go. it’s public mental health center so none of the psychiatrists charge money like privately owned places do.

So I don’t want the anxiety of having to ask for a change knowing I’d be an inconvenience.

This Pdoc has been unprofessional towards me a few times though.

Once he told me I could swallow a whole container of the medication he prescribed me and I ‘wouldn’t even die it’s so harmless’ which I thought was kinda messed up considering I know it states on my file I have tried overdosing on my medication in the past.

Another time he confirmed my delusions, which messed me up for quite a while. He told me that I could very well be seeing visions of my past lives. A therapist also told me this.

Now I have a hard time telling myself that I’m experiencing delusional thinking when two health care professionals have said it’s possible.

I might mention this to my GP to see if he thinks this is unprofessional. However my GP told me once that him and my Pdoc went to university together and both graduated to become doctors at the same time. So I’m also worried he would talk to him about it? What if they’re friends?

If you read all of this thank you. :slightly_smiling_face: I always type too much I’m worried that it’s annoying to others.

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I tried this once but then I got so scared that I wrote too much down or he wouldn’t necessarily believe me.

I worked myself up so bad I ended up having a panic attack and crumpling up the list on the drive over.

I’ll try this again maybe. I’ll just write down the most important stuff. On my phone I have typed up all of the symptoms I’ve experienced since September, so it’s quite a list.

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I think you should talk to the GP about it. Your pdoc sounds very uneducated about psychosis and very unprofessional.

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I don’t talk to my psychiatrist or doctor about my symptoms unless it deals with sleep. I just accept whatever anti-psychotic injection they prescribe me. As long as I am medicated, I’m happy, they’re happy, we’re all happy.

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It’s not annoying to me. I like to read. And I always type too much too.

I just flat out tell them the truth. That’s what they want to hear anyway.

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