Schizophrenia.com

How do you really feel about your children? And if you don't have them, how do you feel about that?

How many kids do you have?

Are you raising them alone?

TBH I didn’t want kids. I never gravitated towards children-get awkward and weird around them. Gross little creatures. I think deep inside I convinced myself not to ever want kids because I knew my chances of getting pregnant were slim to none. I have reproductive issues.

Then at 27 by accident and some freak of nature chance I got pregnant after a bad breakup. The father abandoned me. I was going to college and working two jobs. I had a traumatic birthing experience and all the stress of the pregnancy and lack of sleep triggered another psychotic break. I wound up losing my career two years after she was born which ultimately led to my full time disability. My world came crashing down but Inhad this beautiful baby looking to me for everything and I knew I had to take care of me for her.
I have tried so hard to be a good mother. I wasn’t looking for another relationship as all my relationships have failed one right after the other because of me and this illness. The fact I never got proper treatment or early intervention but while I wasn’t looking I met my husband who was a single dad raising two girls. How I managed to raise his two teens beats me. Now the oldest is married and has two kids. Our middle child is in college at home and working. I have been homeschooling my youngest for three years now. She has ADHD. It’s hard but rewarding.
I don’t always want to be around my (step) grandkids. I prefer my solitude and quiet time. They are all over the place and I stress out easily. It’s too much for me. But it’s not often they come over so for my husband (I tell myself) I deal. I always end up having a good time watching them, changing diapers and feeding them. I stay busy cleaning and cooking for my family. I find that my servitude to my family is how I battle the noise in my head and how I compensate for the feelings of inadequacy in the parenting department I somehow misrepresent.
I am assured by my family, friends, therapist and psychiatrist I am doing a fine job parenting so that makes me really proud.
If I don’t do anything but one thing right on earth I just want to be a good mom. It’s the most amazing gift.

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‘One Day I Shall Witness The Miracle, Until Then, Patience’~ DJ Nosferatu Bat (sleepoptimistic).

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I am a pretty affectionate person and would have loved to have children to love and raise.

I had a abortion when I was psychotic.

I was hearing voices 24/7 and screaming and moans and gunshots.

I was also a binge drinker and smoker.

My whole family told me to have a abortion.
No one supported me.

They screamed at me that I can’t even take care of myself soo can’t take care of children.

I regret doing as I was told.
I regret the abortion.

Now I had ovarian cancer and can’t have kids and couldn’t adopt either.

I feel awkward around most kids but I feel awkward around most people.

My father said to me before my cancer that I should never have children.
I was working then and I will never forgive him for saying that to me.

He cried tears of joy when my sister got pregnant.

He thinks only some people should have children and you have to be rich enough and you have to be working.

My mum and dad have said such painful things to me.
I love them less for it.

I love my x boyfriend in SA and my horse more than I love them.

I made the father of my unborn sons brothers baby laugh many many years ago.
Was a great feeling.

I’m sorry my family said I should never have children and made me have a abortion and I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to them and keep my son.

My sister is my father’s favourite.
Don’t think he ever loved me much.
I don’t want anything to do with her but am close to her mum and that’s why I see her.
I love her because she’s my sister and I wish her baby well and pray for her baby but I feel uncomfortable around her.
She n my dad think she is superior to me.
The perfect one gets to have a baby.ha ha ha

I know I could have been a good mum.
I know it.

I avoid most people.

I miss my x boyfriend.
We had a family with his dogs the babies.

Now I’m happy just having my petsas my babies.

I’m so thankful for my horse and dog and pray almost daily thanking for them.
They are my babies.
They are my children.

I love my children .

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I don’t have children but I love kids. And I’ve taught kids before- 4 months of life I would never forget.
(The kids sent me a card too saying that they love me.)

But now I’m in Korea and men probably won’t like a disabled person who is permanently physically disabled. That’s why I’m unlikeable.

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Maybe I will forgive my father.

I believe forgiveness is good and peace.

It hurt me though.

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Don’t want to spread shitty schizophrenic or aspergers genes. My genes are terrible. Only I have above average iq in family. Probably because of Aspergers…

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I keep getting shot about having kids for being a only child but what ever that’s my parents fault for having one kid

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It’s cliche to say but raising a child is a big responsibility. For someone like me who isn’t ready and has cluttered problems - I can’t be a parent. I’ve had dreams that a tiny embryo in my care dies from my idiocy and I’m trying to hide it to avoid going to prison. That should be evidence that I wouldn’t be a good parent.

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I do not have children, and quite honestly I’ve never wanted them. I’m too lazy, too impatient and not interested in looking after them. I have fur babies though. One cat and one beautiful little lovebird.

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I like to have kids. My ex ones said that I would be a great parent. But then I wasn’t ill.

Now I still want to have. A thoth that never will ever ever happen to be mum is terrible for me.

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Welcome to the forum,

@Yuki!

Deciding to have children is very complicated,

I hope you’re able to be a mom one day like you want.

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