A relationship with another person depends on initially striking up a conversation with them, but for the life of me I have no idea how a person A sitting opposite person B on a train(using that as an example) would know whether to strike up a conversation with person B . Yet plenty of people seem to know instinctively how and when to do so.
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It’s harder for some people like yourself. Not sure if there is a formula or science behind it. I struggle too. It takes practice. Some people are just naturally better at it. I think there are a lot of factors not just autism. Some people with autism are good at making friends or want friends. I tend to want to be alone now because of my embarrassment, schizophrenia, obesity, and hygiene. For me it’s a choice. I have 1 good friend, but if I ever get better I would like to get a girlfriend or get married someday. Someone who probably is schizoid like myself (in a way).
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It may be that some people instinctively know?
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Well it depends on yourself. If see someone sitting there, just say like “I’m {insert name}, how are you?” And take it from there. Then keep conversation going. I’m not very good with this as well, but I’m practicing.
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It helps if you have kids. Singular all alone nothing to say.
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For me I can usually tell if there’s chemistry, it’s something I can tell right away. I will only go out with someone that I feel chemistry right away. That’s why online dating would never work for me. If I don’t have that feeling from the get go I probably won’t get it at all.
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When I was a kid I was a natural at it. I’d just say things like “it’s hot in here, isn’t it?” Or “what book are you reading?” Or comment on something in the room, and then I’d have conversations.
Then people started telling me I talked too much and that I couldn’t gauge when people weren’t interested, and I grew shy.
I spent some years in an abusive relationship that stripped me of my personality, and for a year after I was almost impossible to have a conversation with. And I was too shy to start them myself.
I’m doing better now, but I’m still wary of talking to strangers.
My advice is find something you have in common. If you see them reading, ask what it’s about. If the weather is a certain way, comment on it.
If you’re both outside to smoke, pretend you can’t find your lighter and ask to borrow theirs, or say that their cigarettes smell different and you wonder what brand it is.
Sometimes you have to get creative 
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If you want to @firemonkey, then do it. They don’t really know unless they are uncomfortable sitting there. Some people like to talk. You can be the grandad type.
It’s hard but you kind of have to look at their body language. After years of trying to resolve the same issue I noticed you have to pick up on the vibe they give off, their face, how they sit, and most importantly their tone of voice. After you determined all these are up to par you have to find something to talk about, it’s a long process but we all can learn.
That’s a pretty good response. Thanks. I’m out I’m overly excited. I always talk to people in the elevator too. Ha.
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I usually fill in dead silences with conversation. If the person is resistant to talking, I just let the silence go on. I usually try first though. I show interest in the other person’s speech and try to keep the conversation going based on what they say.
Thanks Daze! I’m glad you have the confidence to do it.
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