I decided a long time ago, about 20 years ago, that giving up is not an option. I don't want to harm my family in any way after all the traumas we have been through. I am glad I did not do anything really stupid, like self harm or suicide, because now I am feeling really good. I have probably gone through about 60 medications in the last 20 years, and I am finally dialed in. It took a long time and a lot of hellish symptoms, but it feels like I finally popped out on the other side. If I would have giving up I would either be dead, or living a hellish existence, and I would never have made it to the great place I am at now. There is always hope.