How do you find the interest to go out?

How do you find the interest of energy to go out,like date someone,or find a friend to watch a football or basketball friend…I always think that there might be nothing to talk about and also I hate the feeling of distances between me and the other person like I always felt,the stranger feeling

I have the feeling of distance too, nothing to say, the stranger feeling.

When I have friends, there is not always a need to talk. Silence can be a bonding experience too.


Yea nick,agree what you say but the truth is I do not feel bond with talking or silence I am like a unpopular and weird person,hope these changes

So find a weird and unpopular friend. And catch a movie or shoot pool or something. I haven’t had a close friend for awhile myself, I am friendly with some people in my apartment complex, I could see being friends with them but I won’t actually seek a friendship right now. But I talk to people and say ‘hi’.

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@Mobc1990…I don’t talk much to people. I don’t have any connection with them. The only people I really connect with are the cyber friends I make here on these forums.

I KNOW I’m lucky in that I have a kid sis who takes my hand and helps me out the door. But when I’m on my own, I find it’s hard to get the motivation to go and do something for myself.

I find when I plan something social, my brain always finds a reason not to go. But if someone drops by and says, “hey, what are you doing right now?” then I go out more. I also find… the bigger the plans, the worse it is.

If someone starts in with "Ok we’re going to this pub, and then over to that place, and then on to the next place, and then a movie… " I chicken out.

But if someone says… “It’s just for lunch at this one place. That’s all.” Then I’m more apt to go. If we go do something else after, that’s one thing, but if the plans sound big and overwhelming, I do tend to bow out.

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It’s strange, I’m torn - part of me wants an in person friend the other part does not want to go through the hassle and complexities that go along with a friendship - In other words and to put it simply, I do want friends but I dont feel that connection that needs to exist

I also struggle to want to go out. Family functions bore me to death and shopping is a chore. the only place I like to go out to is the beach with my husband. I find the sea a far more interesting companion, much more relaxing than socialising. I’m a loner, always been, but its good to have a husband around!

I would not survive in any city that was away from the coast. I’m in the ocean any chance I can be. Everything I need is out there and the head circus has no power against the ocean. I still have my love of surfing.

I stay in a seaside suburb of cape Town, and its the birthplace of surfing in South Africa. My husband and I regularly go park at the Surfer’s Corner beach to watch the surfers.

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