How do you deal with not having a family of your own?

i have come to accept the general concept that us schizos are not fit for the family life of having a girlfriend or wife and kids.

what are some things you guys preoccupy yourselves with in your life that help with filling that hole of isolation?

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Instead of searching for a partner, I work on maintaining friendly relationships. If I can’t make a friendship work, having a partner will be impossible.
I fill my time with various friends, and eventually I came to realise that with the friendly activity going on, I wouldn’t have time for a partner without sacrificing some friends.

I do sometimes feel a little sad that I don’t get to have kids, but I remind myself it’s for the best.
I have a lot of genetic ailments, aside from the schizophrenia, and I feel it would be a little selfish of me to bring a child into the world and potentially give it those ailments, as well as an unwell mother.

I could adopt, but it costs a lot, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable raising a child alone.

I guess there’s no point for me in being sad that things didn’t turn out as I dreamed they would when I was younger. Instead, I’m happy with what I have.

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thank you for your insight.

i feel that just because of our circumstances does not necessarily guarentee that we will be forced into a life of solitude however i have come to terms spiritually with myself and made peace with myself regarding my purpose in life on getting to know God more. however i do also practice some paganism too.

i think that since we have all the time in the world to do what we want basically since we dont live a life that isnt self centered that we should enjoy ourselves as best we can.

as for me i can barely take care of myself let alone another person or kids. but my friends generally do show their support and communicate with me i have several people who i text almost everyday and that helps me a lot

Yes, friendship is good :slight_smile:
I guess my new life-goal is to have an apartment and a schedule suitable for a pet.

I would love to have cats again, but my apartment is too small (and my landlord forbids it), and I’m away so much that it wouldn’t be fair on the cats.

I also feel like I wouldn’t be able to properly raise a child, and I’m not sure I want to anymore. All the stress and responsibility, no thanks. I can barely remember to do the dishes.
In fact, all my houseplants keep dying :sweat_smile:

Cats are easier. You feed them, and you pet them and love them, and sometimes you empty their litter box (and if you haven’t they’ll make sure to remind you by leaving “surprises”…)
So I feel like I could manage that

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I can’t have a family, I can’t have a job. I am useless schizophrenic.

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Not having a family or a job doesn’t make you useless.
We all have things we are good at, and some level of skills. Just because yours don’t help you get jobs or a family doesn’t make you invalid.

There is more to life than procreation., and you shouldn’t measure your value in what others have accomplished compared to you.

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but I do nothing and i feel useless. I don’t enjoy anything. I have no hopes or ambition

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Hey om why dont u try anti depressant…

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I am so desperate right now.

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When is ur next appointment :om:…?? Talk about anti depressant with ur pdoc… i know u will get better…take care …

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I agree with @far_cry0, you should really try to talk to your pdoc about getting on mood stabilizers or antidepressants.

And also, don’t give up. Keep on trying to find things you enjoy, and don’t dismiss the joy you do feel just because it’s not as strong as you feel it could be.
Nobody is overly happy all the time, nobody enjoys everything. It’s important to remember the little things and the good feelings you do have.

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I don’t feel the hole of isolation because I don’t care about family, partners, sex and friendships.

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I’m 48 and I’m so grateful that I don’t have a family of my own. I can barely cope with looking after myself. I never wanted kids and if I didn’t have schizophrenia I could have sleepwalked into having a family.

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I’m a full fledged loner, no family, no friends. Yes there is rough patches when you wish someone was around, but been doing it for so long, having company would stress me out to no end.

@everhopeful
I never thought u were 48… u sound much younger… whats a secret behind ur youthfulness…take care buddy…!!!

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Not having a family of my own. Lol.

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I too dont want to have family… i want to be single till i live…but i want to have sex sometime … hey @everhopeful are u virgin… i am virgin till now…

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I am schizophrenic and I have a family of my own. I recently got married. We have a two year old daughter together and his two kids from a previous marriage live with us too. They know about my diagnosis and we work as a family unit to pick up where I slack because of my mental illness

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You can have a family as someone with a mental illness, I have my spiderpiglet and I get told that I do an amazing job, if anything he grounds me and brings me back down to earth :slight_smile:

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Well I have a husband and a cat, that’s my family.

Sometimes I get these fleeting feelings of wanting a kid but there’s a lot of risks to Mr Turtle and I having a baby together, lots of bad genetics between us, plus I think I’d need to go off meds and that might not be pretty.

Then at the end of pregnancy there’s a child to deal with and I can barely cope with taking care of myself.

So maybe we’ll just get another kitty.

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