How do you construct your own narrative?

Just curious
I hold beliefs but I don’t totally understand what I am doing with myself. Interested to hear your responses.

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No I’m constantly struggling changing my core beliefs rooted from psychosis.

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Figure out what your intrigue is and chase that mutha down.

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Mind wandering is my biggest fault.
It is like playing mental hopscotch: Point a → unrelated to a, point b → slightly related to b, point c
It really is staggering how random and deep the cobweb can grow.
I remember once I actually tried to back to what my original point was, and got like 7 steps back of almost completely unrelated topics before I remembered where I started. It is one thing to do it passively, but another thing altogether to be conscious and realize it.
I could go for walks and look up to realize I had no idea what happened the last half mile stretch. No memory, no conscious state, no realization of time passage. Sleep walking while awake.

My narratives themselves are based on emotions, like love, fear, concern, condemning anger, etc…
Whatever can draw in obsessions in most people forms the narrative.

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My core belief in life is a monotheistic belief regarding reality

I can dabbled in all other beliefs even atheistic

I can not grasp polytheistic terms

I can not comit to anything as a dogma

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I dismantled various core beliefs and developed new ones. Its a long process. Like 12 years long and counting lol.

So explore a variety of things, take what works for you and get rid of what doesnt

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