I’m apathetic most of the days
I hate it.
It’s like my time is just passing by.
I need to kick myself more I guess I wish it wasn’t so difficult
You feel that you lose your enthusiasm?
Im in a neutral phase, I don’t mind
Yea I’m lacking in interest to do things. Things feel like a chore like a duty not like something that springs from a place of joy enough.
I mind cos life shud have more enthusiasm. For me, anyways. It sucks sucks sucks.
Some of the worst moments of my life was being in total apathy and beyond depression as a child.
I felt hopeless and apathy and everything was too much, overwhelming, heavy , too difficult,too painful etc
I didn’t get enough food and was hungry most of the time , malnutrition and worms and bullied and felt unloved and unwanted and my mum said she wish she never had me and I ruined her life etc
I couldn’t get over it.
I think it got better when I moved to my father but I was damaged by then but then I moved back to my mum and this time she was married and her husband is a diagnosed psychopath and used to say I’m not a member of their family and he almost killed me and wouldn’t let me play with my brothers.
I then started smoking and drinking and having sex.
That didn’t help but it was not as bad apathy as when I was a child alone with my mum when she was single yet f ucking men.
The apathy just eased of and wasn’t as bad.
Now as a 42 year old I nolonger have apathy but I remember how difficult it was.
I remember having nothing to look forward to, no hopes or dreams etc
Just get through one day at a time.
Do ones best.
Try pep talk.i couldn’t as a child.
My grandma never forgave my mum for my suffering and apathy.she is dead now.miss n love her always.
I’m sorry to hear about ur childhood. I hope it doesn’t affect u negativly too much now.
I am the best I have been my whole life now I think despite schizophrenia as I currently have no psychosis.
That’s great to hear!!!
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