How do I stop letting peoples opinions matter?

This is something I really struggle with. My colleague once said to me that my partner doesn’t really love me if he has not yet proposed… He has no intention to marry me and I am wasting my time. Well it might be true, yes, he doesn’t have an intetion to marry me. But he’s honest about it. He doesn’t feel a marriage will add anything.

My colleague feels I am being used apprently (but little does she know that it barely happens) so I don’t think he’s using me for sex. I feel he loves me my gut tells me. I trust him completely. I tell him EVERYTHING.

But I cannot stop letting other peoples opinions matter. What about me?

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I’m having the same problem. I’m now thinking that I need to kill myself because the society doesn’t want me.

Have you talked to your partner about being married? Maybe he’s thinking about it but he hasn’t told you yet.

I am on his side.

If I was to marry I would be on a flight to Las Vegas. No way would I ever spend more money than I have paying for 100 people to eat for free.

I am generous with my money if and when I can be, but the whole wedding thing is just a money spinner.

Same with funerals. I don’t want one of those either

Please @anon10648258 don’t do anything stupid.

I know how you feel, as I have had some attempts on my life. None successful.

I am pretty sure you don’t want society either, as it’s cruel and hurtful sometimes. You may be able to cope with the ups and downs of mixing with other people, but I cannot do this as I am not good at trusting people as I always get it wrong.

Stay safe

There will always be someone who has a negative opinion, no matter where you go.
But if you look closely, there will also always be someone who has a positive opinion.
You have to make an active effort to focus on the positive people, and let haters be haters.

You can’t make everyone like you, or those around you.
Use your time and effort on the people who do, and let the others do their own thing. Don’t include them in your life.

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Thats just not true… I’m really sorry you are struggling :frowning:

I am not talking about wedding … I’m talking about marriage. As for the cost of wedding, I don’t need a photographer or even a fancy venue to get married in. A registry office would do just fine … with a handful of people close to us…

But i also do get where he is coming from … it doesn’t change much in our relationship

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I attended a funeral of an acquaintance of mine who died in a surgery. I cried buckets and buckets of water seeing his body lay in repose. It was just a really sad day. I barely new him but the fact that a human being is dead makes me cry.

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Maybe you respect or fear people with an opinion which is not a bad thing, but you are the one to live your life.

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I think the negativity comes from mostly people who aren’t happy themselves

Yeah, but it’s not your job to make them happy. Let them stew in their misery and use your energy on those who choose to be positive

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If you are happy with your relationship, and so is he, I think you have nothing to worry about. Marriage is a life-long commitment and you don’t have to make that commitment right now. Plus, there are unmarried couples who remain unmarried too and have children.

Communication is key. I talked about this with my ex because we were dating for a long time. Although we broke up, we thought that we needed to talk to each other about future plans. You should talk to your partner about marriage- maybe he’ll feel open to it. He might be worried about the procedures, such as legal signings and the cost of a marriage ceremony. You should just talk to him and ask of his opinion.

Other people don’t know how happy you are in a relationship. Don’t let them get to you. As long as you and your partner are happy, that’s all that matters.

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sometimes people assume the worst because that’s all they know. they cant see it another way or find it too hard to see it another way. I know about that myself and working on improving it.

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Oh, also wanted to add: is your friend thinking about typical family norms? People usually expect a couple to marry but this isn’t always the case. There are many types of families. If she’s thinking this way, just ignore her.

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