I havent taken it for 3 years, i find that through learning, traveling, and studying I can stay stable. I am very very happy. YES i do have bodily hallucinations and anxiety. But when they come i just focus on my flashcards, learning languages really distracts me and makes me happy.
Every doctor always insists insists insists that I take abilify/risperidone. I am terrified of the long term consequences of medicine, who knows if it can cause dementia in the future. Not worth the risk for me.
Now i am in a big rut, because i had been lieing to the doctors. I tell them i take 20mg abilify, when actually i dont. So they think the reason i have been doing good is because of the medicine and not because i have been learrning languages all day.
Its confusing, im afraid to tell them i dont take it because they might take me off SSDI. Why do they have to push medicine so damn hard on me.
You’re in a rough spot indeed. They push the drugs so hard I think because, statistically, it lowers the chance of relapse. The more relapses you have the more your desease progresses. I think you really might loose SSDI if you don’t need medicine. Because if you can study all day then you could also work all day. I’ve thought I was well off the meds too but it never would last… be careful.
I strongly suggest you take meds. They take away from your happiness and even then they still prevent a relapse which can last years and make you homeless. Also you are slowly harming your brain in other ways by letting your hallucinations continue. I personally developed cognitive problems from living with mild hallucinations for a short while. The worst stories about schizophrenics almost always involve not taking meds as directed. Your health is more important than your lifestyle and I had to learn that the hard way. It’s not likely to last…
Do you have a psychologist? Maybe if you see one you could discuss your situation with them. You might want to ask how doctor/patient privilege applies to medical professionals, but I’m pretty sure a psychologist would keep the stuff you say to them to themselves. Psychologists tend to be a bit less pro-medication since they don’t necessarily receive medical training. Might be expensive though.
