Some guy in a bar walked up to me and told me. I said, “No sh*t? Really? Can I still get drunk on weekends?”
i initially was diagnosed with bipolar with psychotic features. i wasn’t able to sleep for almost a week, and had a major psychotic break. it became clear i had schizo when i had other psychotic breaks without a mood component involved. tv talking to me, the radio too. seeing messages from god everywhere. everyone ganging up on me, folks conspiring with the city to kill me. people becoming actors playing my friends. millions of things. stuff like this.
I don’t have schizophrenia- I have psychotic depression so I still have psychosis. I have PTSD- related psychosis as well as delusions that are directly caused by psychosis. I didn’t realize I was hearing voices until someone told me that I was hearing them. And I crashed really hard at the hospital.
I was in the mental hospital and I asked the doctor why I was here followed by what’s wrong with me
I dxd myself in 2008 and a team of doctors at UCLA confirmed it although when I went they first said no way because of my age. After observing me for 3 days seeing me interact with other patients (hate that word) and talking with me they said yes. I was relieved and meds helped right away but had to find the right cocktail and I take supplements too now which helps with the negative symptoms
When I was 18 and suffered my first breakdown I was diagnosed with sza/bipolar/sz and so I read up about it and understood the voices in my head and delusions about evil spirits trying to infiltrate my mind was not normal. Plus the abnormal mood swings.
But it took years to understand it’s a chronic illness that won’t go away. And my diagnosis became clear - its sza.
My peers in college started calling me weird and crazy. My behavior was bizarre at parties and when wasted. I had an idiosyncratic effect on pot, where I would get really agitated and hallucinate. Eventually I started hearing voices after college and figured it out with a psychiatrist.
I had a drug-trip and got a bit messed out in my mind. Didn’t know nothing yet that what it was, til my finnish doctor told it’s sz maybe. It is. Still think it’s not an illness by the voices part, but only because of the physical symptoms side still. The voices are people I haven’t met in the real world. That’s not delusional to think so. I just think that some of them don’t need my respect while the other ones do. I’m not saying it’s a fact, but my current mind feels great as I’ve been making some big positive leaps forward. I am a mixture of art, science and beliefs. I don’t take everything as a truth, but I think it’s great how I don’t need to surger out non of my concepts or beliefs either. We are not suppose to become atheists and drop out anything we believe into. The life is mysterious enough for even some of the top-level scientists. So that’s just cruel that we Sz’s have to eat s*it that was baked by the, um… demonish sources. We don’t need to suffer from the alien-connections and surgery out to be normal. We had that near-history era, whereas we didn’t call our thoughts as delusions. We just were speculating and were being creative thinkers. Hope this all just evolves into something good for our majority of times living on this beautiful planet, Cheers!
II thought ghosts were speaking to me when I was twelve years old. When I told people about the encounters with the “ghosts”, they were concerned and I realized something wasn’t right either.
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