Some people on here say I have cognitive decline since my last episode. My mom is frustrated with me because she says I never want to get better. I exercise daily and hike weekly and lost 9 pounds so far. I also help clean house and go to support group 2-3 times a week and see friends sometimes. This Thursday I start day treatment and after 3 months I’d like to work or volunteer. But I spend a lot of time with my mom right now and sometimes feel sad when she is not there. Friends have been distant lately. My mom says she’d just like to see me say “I want to go to the beach” or “I’ll clean the house extra since I have free time” and not just be content with where I’m at. I’ve just gotten out of an episode 2 months ago. Since then, I’ve just been content with the way things are and feel no desire to better myself. My mom says I’m “waiting for day treatment or a job to help me when I should be helping myself.” But just because I’m not working full time doesn’t mean I have to live in a way my mom doesn’t approve of.
I know it takes time coming off of episodes. It really does and there’s always a thing with me at least where you think your well and you impatiently want to get on with it…even if your not quite there.
It’s a balancing act for sure and it’s something you need to figure out. Get to highest function then get a job. You take the short cuts and you usually come unstuck so you don’t really want to be hurrying into anything. Take your time. Take on board your mum’s concerns but just educate them as well as you can. Sz is serious business and you sound like your trying hard!
Be patient. Keep up with the exercise and get your head settled before embarking on new adventures would be my advice!
It sounds like you’re doing ok to me. I think your mum is putting too much pressure on you.
Yes thank you. But little by little I’d like for other people to see improvement with my flaws. Day treatment has the same perspective you do that I should keep exercising and doing things until classes start. I keep thinking day treatment will put me in the mindset to improve my life but this makes my mom frustrated. I’m just not in the mood to go to the beach. My mood is low, but I do feel the impetus to improve if I know where to start.
Yeah well exercise is great. Improves mood and just makes you much healthier. You’ll get there. It really isn’t something you can do overnight! Especially for others who’ve seen you at your worst.
I’m pretty stable these days but I’m also way less emotional. I put up a brave facade though so I can chat and talk the talk. I get by. Not everyone wants to go to the beach and your perfectly ok to say that. You do live near some incredible beaches but I can relate to that. I lived on an island when a child and last place you went was the bloody beach!
Two things. Your expectations. You mothers/others expectations. First. Get rid of them. Tomorrow is a new day and who knows where you’ll end up. I try not to have any expectations. That way I’m never disappointed but I’m an old guy who’s lived a life. Still. Nothing wrong with planning. You just only need to keep yourself happy. Trying to make others happy is never going to get you anywhere.
As to others expectations of you- you are different from most folk and your doing really well but your still hamstrung when it comes to competing with most folk. It’s a serious disorder and that takes some accepting. You don’t have to please people to be happy. You just need to love and honor those in your life. We never see eye to eye with everyone…
So. Don’t put others expectations on yourself and just live! It’s a marathon not a race and you’ve heard it endlessly but as an older person it really does make a difference! Do you!
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