How can anything work out like this

i have no interests in anything. well i have interests of stuff like for my entertainment but i feel like when it comes to working there is no longer anything i want to do. anytime i think about the future and what i will do for work and how i will live my life i come to the conclusion thats it all pointless and ill probably end up just offing myself once i no longer can live off my parents.

some of this i know is fueled the extreme depression i have been experiencing since benzo withdrawal but when i really think about i am basically set up for failure. the only way i could see myself succeeding in life is if i got really lucky and like made music or something but then i realized im not good enough or confident enough to even try to do anything with my life. so thats probably just somewhat of a delusion of me thinking maybe one day all the suffering will have been worth it when in reality nothings gonna change.

i feel too bad mentally to work a job, dont really know what to do because now i feel like after trying and failing i dont even want to do anything anymore.

i feel like now im just trying to enjoy as much stuff as i can like comics, movies etc and even tho sometimes i feel like i cant even fully enjoy these things as much as i used to be able to, i want to do as much of the stuff i enjoy until the day where i am no longer able to do these things then ill probably just give up on life.

i dont know if this is a temporary feeling but i feel like maybe for my life to end up like this with so many bad things happening it seems like i never have an option

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I feel very anxious when I think about the future too.

The answer isn’t offing yourself though.

Things can turn around in ways you don’t expect.

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Benzo withdrawal takes a long time to settle.

I recommend walking as a way to feel better.

When I come to visit you, I learn how it is that the trash goes out, and I do it. Also, I learn and do what you want vacuumed. It makes me welcome many places.

****, schizophrenia is a ***

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