well i don’t know, i think the whole thing, being a defendent, while i was being prosecuted and defended would cause me much anxiety. i don’t know if i could go through with a jury trial, and would probably take a plea deal. although i guess, it depends on the severity of the charges and my guilt or innocence, but the whole thing seems like hell. just my every 6 month hearings about meds i hate and dread.
one time, when i was hospitalized, i had to go to court, to see if they would let me out or if i had to stay a whole month. during the hearing, they had an expert testify about my mental state, and also a group of school kids came in and witnessed the trial. it was so embarrasing, and then at the end of it, they asked me if i wanted to address the children about my future plans. i was so pissed they were there in the first place and told them i didn’t want to speak to the kids. i was in the hospital, because i was caught walking back on forth on a median in the middle of the road, after i got lost in the city and was hallucinating.
i had to stay the whole month in the hospital turns out. worst hospital i’ve ever been in. it was mixed males and females. but they did let me go outside when i asked to get some sun, which was nice.
i got forcibly medicated for pacing around the ward. i like to walk and was all couped up. and i didn’t want to watch superhero movies all day on tv, that everybody else was watching.
i remember i was also talking about how old my shoes were, thinking that in the past, civilization was just advanced as we were are now. maybe it wasn’t my pacing. or the fact that i was saying very loudly, “these are some old shoes” haha.
Probably tough to believe me but a lot of times I felt like I have a case against a previous employer.
Glad I didn’t do anything… I think people talk and if you litigate you can get black balled by industry!
But while I was fantasizing about litigating this corporation I imagined myself getting their apology in the form of a settlement (the only way companies apologize), and having blank stares from people( the muckity mucks) while I attempted to leave the courtroom.
It would be a gauntlet of non verbal leers and peers sitting in the (pews?) I dunno I was always too scared to notice the furniture in courtrooms!
Ahaha - Bottomline I’m talking about feeling the heat, scorn, and threatening type expressions on faces. It would help to keep me wounded longer in my lifetime.
Still illustrates the esteem in which I hold this conglomerate
not sure about today, especially if they use surveillance cameras footage and have you caught already,
but even without that,
there seems to be a fair amount of plea bargaining
for a confession, or maybe I’m mainly thinking of an accomplice.
also for my first week on the ward, i was not allowed in the cafeteria, but had to sit in another room with people who hadn’t earned their priveleges yet. i was so pissed because i was vegan at the time, and didn’t have my usual food choices, i didn’t want to break my diet and was just nibbling on whatever plant based stuff there was. at the end of the week i was so hungry and cranky and pissed, that i took my milk and eggs and poured them on the floor, they told me to clean it up and i refused, i told them i was the rosa parks of vegans and did it in protest. then i was allowed to eat in the cafeteria, and ate rice and beans everyday and it was much better, and i behaved after that.
I would love to get cross examined by a lawyer or prosecuter in a fantasy sense because my dads a defense attorney and I am familiar with lawyers. But I don’t break laws or anything and I’m happy that nobody wants to sue me or prosecute me but if it ever came up haha bring it on!
I’ve never had a jury trial but the back and forth of my lawyer and the prosecutor fighting their damnedest to defend and to prosecute me using terms, motions, and trial tactics I knew nothing about was incredibly hard to sit and watch/listen to last time I was in court, I’d imagine with a jury full of people paranoia and my emotions would spin out of control