How are you?

I absolutly hate getting asked this question. People never really care to hear the answer. So here is some interesting responses that I thought I would share with you. Feel free to leave your own below.

And to any of you who do care; I am neurotic today and antisocial.

  1. Miserable, what do you expect with your mindless questions!?
  2. In the Newtonian or quantum mechanical sense?
  3. I must be OK because my name was not in today’s obituaries!
  4. I can’t complain… I’ve tried, but no one listens.
  5. Old enough to know better
  6. Blood pressure 120/80, respiration 16, CBC and Chem Panels normal.
  7. I am unique and me.
  8. Delicous. You?
  9. I could use a little salt but decent otherwise.
  10. How am I? The better question would be, “Why are you?”
  11. Strange and getting stranger
  12. Well I did just swallow a rather large and strange looking insect,
    but I hear they’re full of protein. So I guess I’m great.
  13. From what I hear, I am very good.

Why im feeling pretty gay, you know in the classic sense.


how are you…? mind your own business…lol


That response is a little hostile, but I like it. I think I will find a use for this one.

how are you…? im feeling great but i tell lies…lol

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Understandable when most people asking “How are you?” just want to hear “Fine” in response.

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I don’t ask people that anymore really, or don’t want to, i already know they are doing bad, now i just want to say “hey.” and thats it.

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good list, my favorite is number 12, i will try that one out in the supermarket !?!
take care

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I sometimes respond with: Do you want the polite answer or the truth?

I don’t ask unless I’m willing to take the time to listen to the answer good or bad.


I don’t ask “How are you” I just say hi. There are a few people who I do ask, “how is your day going.” sometimes I get the long answer and sometimes I get the short answer.

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Oh wow, I am going to use some of those…I usually do not respond with the traditional “I’m okay” when i am not okay…but have really only said “Could be better” or even “Don’t ask, it won’t be the expected answer” to “Actually pretty crappy…”
But I love those answers!

I like 2, 7, 8, 11 and 12…

Another along the meal line would be…
“I’m rare but I’m also well done…”

Could also say “I’m medium rare but i don’t need to be cooked any more…”
However that one may make people think you are stoned, LOL

11 of 11 post, yet again…

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It’s a standard greeting but for those of us with non-standard thought processes it sounds like a question that should receive a thoughtful and truthful answer. After all, we’ve all been taught not to lie.
My favorite, “Oh, just ducky!” When said in person use your best nut-case grin. I’ll sometimes elaborate with,“I’m about to quack at any moment.”
Another great one is: “Terrible, let me tell you all about it.”
or “Still employed… for now.”
or “Craptacular” thanks due to The Simpsons.
or “Magnifishit” thanks due to Skinny Puppy.
One that never fails to confuse, “I have no idea and I’m trying to keep it that way for another eight hours.”


I like this one a lot.

how are you? I am me.
how are you? You tell me!
how are you? How would you like me to be?
how are you? I am as a result of my mother’s egg and father’s sperm.
how are you? Yes I am how.

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I like this one. A very submissive response.