I feel so empty and dead. Like I go about my daily life as usual and then my mind slips into oblivion. Like a shutter comes down over my brain. I don’t know if it’s negatives or depression or both. I don’t feel sad as such, just nothing. But I feel this hopelessness that I will ever get better. My positive symptoms largely under control but negatives still bother me.
I have healthy routine now that my psychologist seems to want to take full responsibility for, since I was unable to understand what exactly it is she is doing to earn her cheque each month.
For the most part I like how things are going, but I do get a bit complacent, and stress about my working situation.
On top of that people seem to be ignoring Covid advice from the government, and I am worried the swimming pool will shut at the gym again. It’s a big thing for me. I go 4 days a week at the moment.
I have lost 16 kilos since I started doing manual labour, and I want to keep that weight off as it makes me feel better about myself. I have a complicated relationship with my weight since Olanzapine ruined my body