Well I had a good day today. It started out hard…was difficult to get out of bed. I didn’t get moving until like 3 or 4 pm. But then I was actually very productive and got all my work done so that was cool.
But generally I’ve not been doing so hot. Not in a good place symptom wise and school work and my parents serious marital issues lately have been compounding on that.
All of a sudden after a symptomatic day I’ve started to feel well.
sweating aggressively because i took ibuprofen and it broke my fever so my body is trying to recalibrate its temperature…im sure ill be freezing again later though
I’ve been having a hard month. Haven’t come on here as much as usual. Not feeling right, dunno if this means I’m going to have an episode or something soon.
Things do feel especially surreal though. Usually when I feel like everything is fake it’s because I’m getting more sick.
I just feel spacey though. In my own world. Also I’ve been struggling with the fear of the world ending again.
I’ve always had apocolypse delusions but lately they’ve been really bad. I keep bracing myself to die somehow by a giant earthquake or a nuke.
I hope things will get better for me soon.
Doing good, just trying to fall asleep. I woke up too late for church so that made me sad, but after waking up I hopped right on my guitar and found out that my distortion pedal shorted out (boss mt-2, go ahead and laugh) well I plugged in my reverb pedal instead and cranked it up loud and practiced strumming e n a maj in different patterns with different styles of arpeggios mixed in. I’m seeing the progress.
Then I played video games for an hour and my internet crapped out again. I tried again an hour later and something was out of whack that has been lately and shouldn’t be. So I said forget it. I’m done with gaming. I’m selling both my Xbox and my PS4 tmw I hope I know I’m not gonna cave and go back again.
Then listened to music and came on here to try to relax n fall asleep
No, not doing so good right now.
im struggling to keep up in school, i keep procrastinating in my class
i significantly decreased the amount of antipsychotic im taking and this has led to me feeling more level headed and emotionally present but also less stable in some ways almost like a paradox
i feel more stable yet many of my thoughts mark of insanity, i think its just the sudden return of emotions which is stressing me out
i dont know how to deal with my newfound emotional palate, so i begin to obsess and ruminate over realistic scenarios
my sleep schedule is much more stable now and i can wake up when i want, my mind is also more alert
i always have my as needed medications to help me when psychosis comes, fortunately on this lower dose the psychosis attacks are weak and much less frequent
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