@Moon you really need to talk with someone that specializes in this sort of thing. You’re suicidal and that’s not good. You are worth more than you think. Remember that our disease is a LIAR and can make you feel like you’re worth nothing, when in reality there is no one else like you out there.
PLEASE use one of the following helplines. Or the text line. I’ve used them for crisis. It can help.
If you are feeling suicidal or having a mental health crisis, please tell someone — a friend or family member, a teacher, a doctor or therapist or call 911 (if you’re in the U.S.) or the Emergency Medical Services phone number in your country.
You can also call a crisis intervention hotline—these are available in the U.S. and in many other countries. You do not need to be actively suicidal to benefit from a crisis hotline.
International crisis hotlines:
Crisis hotlines in the U.S.:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org
More resources: